As I begin my tenth year of blogging liberally and locally and snarkily...

Not sure why, but old friends are finding me via my blog. Maybe my analytics are peaking after nine years on Blogger. My first couple years in the blogosphere were spent trying to figure out what to write about 3-4 times per week. I called it "hummingbirdminds" after a quote in Wired magazine from hypertext pioneer Ted Nelson. Nelson was asked about his severe case of Attention Deficit  Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). He said that people with ADHD have "hummingbird minds." That seemed to fit. My wife and I raised a son with ADHD and we got to see a hummingbird mind up close and personal. His attention could flit to more places in five minutes than mine did in a day.

At first, I thought I would blog about ADHD. I was working on a book based on our experiences with our son. I figured that I would put excerpts up on the blog, editors and publishers would discover me, and soon I would be dreaming of ways to spend my five-figure book advance. That didn't happen, mainly because  my own short attention span wandered off-topic and I began writing about writing, politics, life in Wyoming and other fascinating topics. Much to my chagrin, I was not a one-topic blogger like some of my more successful friends on the blogosphere. A romance novelist. A knitter. A diehard St. Louis Cardinals fan. A high-altitude gardener. All were making hay online, especially the gardener. Their blogs engendered readers and comments and numbers. My posts earned a smattering of visits and an occasional comment. 

Leading up to the 2008 elections, I began focusing on politics. As my blog's subhead says: "Blogging Liberally and Locally in Wyoming." The "blogging liberally" term I borrowed from Drinking Liberally, a great idea and a great site. "Locally," of course, I got from the local movement that has been sweeping the country and making a big difference in our politics and in business. I try to act locally and shop locally. 

My political blogging earned me a trip to the 2008 Democratic National Convention, a scholarship to Netroots Nation 2011 in Minneapolis and a mention as Wyoming's top state liberal blog by Chris Cillizza at the Washington Post's "The Fix" blog. Good experiences. Good times. 

What's next? More politics. More wise-ass comments. I plan to self-publish another book of short stories by the end of the year -- beware of marketing posts about my book as self-publishing means self-promotion and lots of it. When I first began to blog, I heard that shameless self-promotion on your blog was gauche. It just wasn't done. Then along came social media and self-promotion became the rule rather than the exception. It's as American as apple pie. So I will post snippets of my work and even stage a book giveaway or two. 

But I won't totally leave off of politics. I'd be afraid that my old conservative friends wouldn't find me online. There is nothing like old friends....

UPLIFT Wyoming has vision

UPLIFT's vision is

Hope, health and well-being for all Wyoming children and families. 

You must have 20/20 vision for a statement like that. An abundance of hope.

The statistics are bleak. Alabama-bleak. Wyoming leads the nation is teen suicides. Not a single child psychiatrist lives and works within its 97,000 square miles. In 2012, Wyoming's overall health ranking dropped from 21st to 23rd. More than 23 percent of the population smokes.

OK, so maybe we rank better than Alabama by most measures. But we have problems. Most residents have to drive hours to reach mental health care. Youth are regularly sent out of state for mental health and substance abuse treatment. I know. My kids did just that. Broke the bank and almost broke the will. Only late in the process did we discover the state's children's mental health waiver, which paid for much of our daughter's care, both in-state and out.

Time will tell whether the Affordable Care Act (a.k.a. Obamacare) will make a difference with accessibility to quality mental health treatment. We do know that insurers no longer can disqualify you for pre-existing conditions. And caps have been removed on quantity of treatment sessions. And we can keep our daughter covered until she's 26 (our son has aged out). Most students with disabilities take longer to matriculate than others. It's not unusual for them to take six or seven years to graduate. It's not unusual for them to be a boomerang kid, landing in your basement after graduation, Daft Punk tunes wafting up through the heater vents.

I just returned from a two-day board and staff retreat for UPLIFT. I've been a board member since 1999 and am just about ready to retire. It's a volunteer position. Most of us on the board have had personal experiences with challenging children.Our son Kevin was diagnosed at 5 with ADHD and, later, struggled with drugs and alcohol. Our daughter faced mental health challenges, first diagnosed as bipolar and then with borderline personality disorder. As often happens, she did some self-medicating.

It is tough on children to have these challenges. It is also tough on parents.

UPLIFT comes to the rescue. When it can. The statewide organization has its own challenges. Its budget was cut by a third when the state decided to re-channel its funding. It lost three offices across the state and 11 staffers. This is why you have retreats that address strategic planning and tries to come up with some big ideas for the future.

Funding cuts and priority shifts have caused the 23-year-old organization to look at itself anew. Wish us luck. And donate at the web site. Better yet, make a pledge to donate a certain amount every month. Go here. You never know when you may need expertise at your I.E.P. meeting or tips on applying for the Medicaid waiver or just a kindly person to listen to your dilemma. 

Tell them Mike sent you.

Smoking remains high at 23.0 percent of the adult population, with 100,000 adults who smoke in Wyoming.

The infant mortality rate declined in the past year from 7.2 to 6.5 deaths per 1,000 live births.

- See more at: http://www.americashealthrankings.org/WY#sthash.h6kmkDfZ.dpuf

Smoking remains high at 23.0 percent of the adult population, with 100,000 adults who smoke in Wyoming. - See more at: http://www.americashealthrankings.org/WY#sthash.h6kmkDfZ.dpuf

NPR Health Blog: Childhood ADHD can lead to adulthood obesity

The title of this blog comes from a quote by hypertext inventor Ted Nelson who once told Wired Magazine that having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) was like having a "hummingbird mind." I wrote an essay for the late lamented Northern Lights magazine about rock climbing with my son who has ADHD. I used Nelson's quote in the article and the editor used it for the headline. So, in 2005. I decided to use it for the name of the blog as my initial idea was to blog about ADHD, as blogging and hyperactivity seemed to go together. I was sidetracked by politics and various other topics so my blog is a lot more wide-ranging than anticipated.

That brings me to today's post about ADHD. I came across it via a Facebook post from renowned ADHD expert Dr. Edward "Ned" Hallowell. The good doctor wrote the intro to an anthology that featured some of my writing, Easy to Love but Hard to Raise: Real Parents, Challenging Kids, True Stories. He writes on his site today about the fact that childhood ADHD can lead to adult obesity. He quoted an article about a recent study featured on the NPR Health blog. Overeating releases dopamine which is what human nervous systems crave. A pint of Ben & Jerry's at midnight is just what the impulsive person ordered. But not the cardiologist. Read more here.

Recommended reading: "Raising Adam Lanza" in the Hartford Courant

My wife Chris and I raised two kids with special needs. Our son was diagnosed at five with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Our daughter had learning disabilities and mental health challenges. They are both adults now and doing well. But Chris and I know only too well the frantic calls from school, the many meetings with teachers and counselors, the convoluted Individualized Educational Plans (I.E.P.s) and the heartache that goes along with it all.

That's one of the reasons it was so intriguing to read "Raising Adam Lanza," the first installment in a series in the Hartford Courant. It's the kind of article that newspapers used to be known for. Courant reporters interviewed friends, family, teachers and neighbors to try to get to the bottom of Adam Lanza's murderous rampage at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn. Adam was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism, and sensory integration disorder.

The vast majority of teens with ADHD or OCD or any of the many alphabet soup of disorders or syndromes never turn to violence. Those that do tend to make big, bold headlines. That's why it's important to learn all we can about them. In hindsight, Adam Lanza's mother made poor choices in withdrawing her son from school, and keeping him isolated at home. She also chose the wrong hobbies to help her bond with her sons: gun collecting and target shooting. And Adam spent way too much time playing violent video games. All that taken together led to the Sandy Hook shootings. There may be other reasons, too. I suggest you read the articles and/or watch the concurrent airing of the story on PBS's Frontline. This is an interesting collaboration between a daily newspaper and a PBS show. Maybe it's the wave of the future.

Read today's Courant article here.

Nora Ephron: "Reading is everything"

Happy Mama Conference in N.C. for mothers of kids with real, but invisible, brain-based disabilities

This sounds like a fabulous retreat for mothers (and possibly fathers) of kids with ADHD, OCD, SPD, and so on. From the "Easy to Love but Hard to Raise" blog that I write for occasionally:

The Happy Mama Conference & Retreat will take place July 28–29, 2012, at the Rock Barn Golf & Spa, in Conover, North Carolina. Here’s what the retreat is all about, as described on the Happy Mama website, www.if-mama-aint-happy.com :

What: A CONFERENCE that focuses on your needs as the mom to a child with a very real, but invisible, brain-based disability, like ADHD, ADD, OCD, ODD, FASD, PBD, SPD, PDD, or one of the many other overlapping conditions that make parenting your child an extra challenging situation, and a RETREAT, where we’ll provide you with wonderful food, spa opportunities, fun activities, and camaraderie with other moms who know exactly where you’re coming from.

Why: Because parenting children with invisible disabilities is an extremely stressful, isolating, and emotional job and one which can impact your health and well-being in a negative way.

The retreat, hosted by DRT Press (publisher of Easy to Love but Hard to Raise) and the website {a mom’s view of ADHD} (founded and edited by Penny Williams) and supported by a growing list of sponsors, including CHADD and the Catawba Valley Medical Center, will offer the perfect blend of education, support, and pampering.

Saturday’s speakers will cover: “Parenthood, Stress, Health, and Resiliency,” “Advocating for Your Child in School,” and “How to Be Happy: Calming Techniques for You and Your Child.”Sunday will be devoted to fun and pampering, which may include spa treatments, relaxing by the pool, gem mining, hiking, yoga, horseback riding, or kayaking.

Doesn’t that sound fabulous? I can hardly wait!

Sharon Barbary Bryan registered for the conference, but has since found out that she’s unable to attend. Sharon is donating her conference registration and on-site lodging, approximately a $350 value, to a deserving mom! The retreat organizers are running a contest to determine what lucky mama will be the recipient of Sharon’s generous gift. Here’s how it works: Follow this link. Nominate a special needs mama whom you feel deserves to attend the retreat, by writing a sentence or two in the comments field (of that post, not this one!) explaining why she needs a break. The contest will run June 1 – June 22.

If you are interested in attending whether you win this contest or not, please don’t hesitate to register now. Registration is just $129 until July 1. If you are “in the business” of ADHD, FASD, ASD, or other brain-based disorders and wish to become a retreat sponsor, email happymamaretreat@gmail.com

for their sponsorship package

Easy to Love but Hard to Raise: "You are not alone"

One of my essays, "The Great Third Grade AIDS Scare," is in this anthology. The overall message of the book and the blog and all of its writers is "You are not alone," even though it sometimes feels like it. All kinds of compelling posts on the blog about medications, education, outreach, relationships, resources, etc. To connect, go to the blog at http://www.easytolovebut.com/

One of my essays in new "Companions in Wonder" anthology from MIT Press

I’m happy to report that one of my personal essays, “We Are Distracted,” is included in a new anthology from MIT Press. “Companions in Wonder: Children and Adults Exploring Nature Together” features work by some of my favorite writers: Rick Bass, Alison Hawthorne Deming, Barry Lopez, Robert Michael Pyle, Joseph Bruchac and Scott Russell Sanders. I’m looking forward to reading their work. Editors are Julie Dunlap and Stephen R. Kellert. I’ve been an editor of an anthology and it’s no easy task to assemble the authors, get the work, secure the rights, edit it all and get it to the publisher on time. Thanks, Julie and Stephen. The book is in the spring 2012 catalog. Here’s an excerpt:

Rachel Carson’s classic 1956 essay “Help Your Child to Wonder” urged adults to help children experience the “sense of wonder” that comes only from a relationship with nature. It’s clear we haven’t succeeded in following her advice: eight-year-olds surveyed in the United Kingdom could identify more Pokémon characters than common wildlife species; and Richard Louv’s recent best-selling book Last Child in the Woods identifies a “nature deficit disorder” in children around the world. But today a growing number of environmentally minded parents, teachers, and other adults are seeking to restore nature to its rightful place in children’s lives. This anthology gathers personal essays recounting adventures great and small with children in the natural world.  The authors--writing as parents, teachers, mentors, and former children--describe experiences that range from bird watching to an encounter with an apple butter-loving grizzly bear. Rick Bass captures fireflies with his children and reflects on fatherhood; Michael Branch observes wryly that both gardening and parenting are “disciplines of sustainability;” Lauret Savoy wonders how African American children can connect to the land after generations of estrangement; and Sandra Steingraber has “the big talk” with her children, not about sex but about global warming.  By turns lyrical, comic, and earnest, these writings guide us to closer connections with nature and with the children in our lives, for the good of the planet and our own spiritual and physical well-being. Booklist Online says this:  Editors Dunlap and Kellert have assembled a stellar collection of essays by exceptional nature writers about adults and children enjoying the outdoors together…[T]his is a striking celebration of nature’s role in sustaining family bonds.

To order “Companions in Wonder,” go here. It’s a $21.95 trade paperback. ISBN-10: 0-262-51690-X; ISBN-13: 978-0-262-51690-7

ADHD Parenting Book: Win a Copy of ''Easy to Love but Hard to Raise''

Enter now to win a free copy of "Easy to Love but Hard to Raise: Real Parents, Challenging Kids, True Stories." This is an excellent volume to add to your library. How do I know? One of my "true stories" is in it. Go and enter now. Win a Copy of ''Easy to Love but Hard to Raise''

Amazon.com releases "Easy to Love but Hard to Raise" anthology

Amazon.com has just released the anthology “Easy to Love but Hard to Raise: Real Parents, Challenging Kids, True Stories" from DRT Press. Order your copy here. 

Here’s the book blurb:

If there's anything the 32 parent-writers and 15 experts of Easy to Love but Hard to Raise want you to know, it's this: 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. We've been there. We've done that. We've navigated the system. Some of us succeeded. Some failed. We've been judged by friends, teachers, family, & strangers. We've gotten the phone calls & the looks. We've done things we never thought we'd do, good & bad. We've been up nights, cried in our pillows, and screamed in frustration. We've doubted ourselves, our children, & our partners. We've had to educate everyone, including our children's doctors. We are parents of children with alphabet soup diagnoses, invisible special needs, behavioral problems.Our children are easy to love, but oh, so hard to raise. 

Easy to Love but Hard to Raise is an anthology of personal essays written by parents of children with ADD, ADHD, OCD, PDD, ASDs, SPD, PBD and/or other alphabet soup diagnoses that takes the already difficult job of parenting and adds to the challenge. 

These essays focus on honest feelings, lessons learned, epiphanies, commonplace and extraordinary experiences. They are written by parents of toddlers, young children, teens, and adult children; those who are in the parenting trenches now, and those looking back on their parenting experiences. 

Topics include : how children came to be diagnosed, the experience of dealing with problem behaviors in various contexts and settings, experiences with/feelings about treatment (therapies, medications, alternative treatments), school (and other advocacy) experiences, children's social interactions/friends, and the effect of parenting a difficult child on a parent's emotional and physical health, marriage, and other relationships.

I’m one of these 32 parent-writers. My essay is entitled “The Great Third Grade AIDS Scare.” Buy the book. Read the essays. You’ll have a much better idea about the challenges faced by kids with ADHD, OCD, PBD, etc. – and their parents.

I’ve written a number of hummingbirdminds' posts about the struggles our children have had with ADHD, ADD, learning disabilities, addiction and mental illness. You can look them up!

"Easy to Love but Hard to Raise" has a Facebook fan page. Check it out here.

ADHD workshop Dec. 2 at Laramie County Library

Peak Wellness Center presents a free Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) workshop from noon-1 p.m. on Friday. Dec. 2, in the Cottonwood Room of the Laramie County Public Library, 2200 Pioneer Ave., Cheyenne.

Presentation will be conducted by Dr. Marta A. Pieczalska, board certified child and adolescent psychiatrist at Peak.

Light refreshments provided. Fee free to bring your own lunch.

FMI: 307-634-3561.

Pre-order now: "Easy to Love but Hard to Raise: Real Parents, Challenging Kids, True Stories"

Received my copies of this new book today. It features one of my essays, "The Great Third Grade AIDS Scare." Thanks for Kay and Adrienne for putting together a great volume. Foreword by the legendary ADHD researcher and author Dr. Edward Hallowell.  Pre-order at DRT Press. 

Keep your eyes peeled for UPLIFT's new billboards

Keep your eyes peeled for a series of billboard that will soon be displayed in Casper, Buffalo and Riverton. Thanks to the generosity of Lamar Advertising (a $2,400 in-kind donation), UPLIFT is able to advertise on five billboards around the state. I am a board member of UPLIFT. Lamar developed the graphic displays and is donating the billboard rental for the Casper boards.  The photo above shows one of the designs that will be used for this advertising program. 

This roadside advertising effort coincides with UPLIFT’s annual fund-raising appeal. This is especially important this year as the federal and state funding that fuels the organization’s crucial programs will be cut.

Here are the location and schedule of the displays.

Casper from October 31 – December 26:

1.       Collins & Poplar

2.       CY Ave. & Oxford

3.       Hwy. 20/26 & 6 Mile Rd

Buffalo from November 7 – December 4:

1.       Hwy. 16 & I-25

Riverton from November 14 – December 11:

1.        Hwy. 26 & Airport Rd.

Community support takes many forms. Thank you, Lamar Advertising.

Donate to UPLIFT by going here.

Easy to be driven to distraction by UW's "Distracted"

I have a special interest in this play:

DISTRACTED

Oct. 25-29, 7:30 p.m.; Oct. 30, 2 p.m.

In the Fine Arts Studio Theatre, UW in Laramie

 

What’s wrong with nine-year-old Jesse? He can’t sit still, he curses, he raps, and you can’t get him into—or out of—pajamas. His teacher thinks it’s Attention Deficit Disorder. The psychiatrist thinks he needs medication. Dad thinks he’s just being a boy. And Mama’s on a quest for answers. Is Jesse dysfunctional, or just different? This Off-Broadway hit by the author of GIRL, INTERRUPTED and THE WAITING ROOM is a fast-paced and disarmingly funny look at “parenting in the age of the Internet and Ritalin.” 

DISTRACTED contains language and themes that some might find objectionable.

“Witty and insightful.” — Theatermania
“A smartly comic, sharply observant and surprisingly humane play.” — Associated Press
“...an issue-driven play about parenting and pills that tickles both your brain and your funny bone” — Time Out New York

Read more | Get tickets

Wyoming Advisory Panel for Students with Disabilities plans "public meeting by phone" Friday

My two children were both served by Individualized Education Plans (I.E.P.) during their time in Laramie County School System No. 1. My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 5 and my daughter struggled with mental health issues and learning disabilities.

I bring this up because the Wyoming Advisory Panel for Students with Disabilities, the group that advises the Wyoming Department of Education on services for youth with disabilities, is conducting a "public meeting by phone" Friday. One of the hard lessons learned by parents of special needs' students is that eternal vigilance is the price of a public school education. There are a whole set of federal regulations that assist students with disabilities. School administrators aren't always up to date on those rules and regs. Sometimes they know the rules but choose to ignore them. This would be a great time to point out that there are superb administrators and counselors in our school system -- I'm looking at you, Cheyenne Central High School. But many of our schools can do better.

My kids have left the K-12 system and are on their own (and doing very well, thank you). If you have a child whose needs are not getting met, get on the phone Friday and see what's happening:

The Wyoming Advisory Panel for Students with Disabilities will hold a public meeting by phone Friday to discuss proposed rules for student seclusion and restraint, among other issues.

The panel, which advises the Wyoming Department of Education about ways to promote services for children and youth with disabilities, will also talk about an upcoming federal report that examines the unmet needs of such students, said Barb Yates, the panel's administrative assistant.

As required under a new state law, the panel is asking for public comment on proposed rules for when and how students can be secluded or restrained while in school.

Yates said the panel may decide to offer its recommendations on the policy as well.

The meeting will be held from 8 a.m. until noon at the Wyoming Advisory Panel for Students with Disabilities' Riverton office. Members of the public may offer their opinions to the panel from 11:30 a.m. until noon by calling 877-278-8686; the passcode is 095102.

Read more: http://trib.com/news/state-and-regional/article_f12ec331-1f66-5eea-9777-9b3df0c04996.html#ixzz1XvjqWUg7

UPLIFT hosts big yard/parking lot sale Aug. 6 in Cheyenne

On Saturday, Aug. 6, 8 a.m.-noon., UPLIFT of Wyoming is holding its Cheyenne Yard Sale in the parking lot of the Oregon Trail Bank on the corner of College Drive and Lincolnway. Lots of goods for sale. Prizes, and a car wash too. This is UPLIFT"s big fund-raiser for 2011. I've been a board member of this very active non-profit organization since 1998. UPLIFT's mission: "Encouraging success and stability for children and youth with or at risk of emotional, behavioral, learning, developmental, or physical disorders at home, school and in the community." A tall order, considering the huge needs in this very rural state of 97,000 square miles. UPLIFT has offices statewide and, in the past six months, its small staff has assisted 576 youth in 21 counties. Those are kids that would fall through the cracks if it wasn't for UPLIFT services funded by state and federal government agencies and donations from good people like you. A true public-private partnership. Come to this yard/parking lot sale or donate online at http://www.upliftwy.org.

Republicans attempt to "piratize" special education

Excellent post by AnnieJo at Daily Kos on "Piratizing Special Education in Wisconsin." You don't have to be a Wisconsin parent of a special needs child to realize the problem behind legislation such as AB110. In fact, if you live in states with Republican legislative majorities, you soon will be seeing this type of bill.

So what does AB110 propose? Chip away further at the public schools by letting the funding flow to the private schools... who aren't required to abide by the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act!  Yes, that's part of the con.  As outlined in an excellent piece by Disability Rights Wisconsin, called Special Needs Scholarships: Myths and Facts about AB110, "AB110 does not even require that private schools which accept special needs scholarships have a single special education teacher or therapist on staff!"   Further, "using a special needs voucher to attend private school means that parents and children give up ALL their state and federal rights to special education."

Karoli reports on "ADHD Nation's" reaction to budget bill

I like to share links with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) in their headers. This is a good one on karoli's blog at Crooks & Liars. Go to "Republicans Suddenly Worried About Scaring Seniors? ADHD Nation Take Two." 

Role-switching and the ADHD family

I can’t help noticing that Frank S. and I are the only members of the male gender posting on the easy to love but hard to raise blog. That’s cool – and not entirely unexpected.

I’m the writer in our family. My wife Chris has ADHD and learning disabilities. Oddly enough, she’s had the jobs that require the most organizational skills. Banking, for one. Supervisor at the local YMCA for another. When I come into the YMCA to exercise or to pick her up for lunch, it seems as if all 8,000 members are there at once. Chris is flitting around the place, attending to member and staff needs. I stand there, amazed, wanting to flee the chaos to the quiet safety of my car. How does she do it? Her ADHD helps her multi-task, yet it also contributes to flittering. I’m standing still, sometimes because I’m depressed and other times because I’m thinking up clever blog posts like this one.

We complement one another.

We’re also a bit of an anomaly. As we’ve seen on this blog, it’s usually the adult male in the relationship who has ADHD. Most diagnoses of childhood ADHD are in boys. Hyper-boys grow up, meet lovely and competent women, sweep them off their feet and into marriage.

My friend L is married to H. H is a psychologist and L has all the traits of an ADHD boy grown into a hyper-adult. He’s a Brainiac but never quite reached his full potential. Wherever he goes, he leaves a trail of chaos in his wake. When all of us lived in Maryland, L said he was coming over the make me a gourmet birthday dinner. He’s a good cook and it gave all of us a chance to hang out.

Later that evening, Chris and I surveyed the kitchen. Every pot and pan in the kitchen was dirty. Red sauce stains were on the walls on the floor. Empty spice containers littered the counter like empty beer cans after a frat party. The stove was still on and cabinet doors remained flung open.

“The meal was good,” I replied, surveying the damage.

“Never again,” said Chris.

After that, we ate out with L and H.

We also were in an Adult ADHD Support Group. The men and one woman (Chris) was in the support group while the women (and one guy – me) shared our horror stories. He never graduated from college. He forgets to pick up the kids from school. Can’t keep a job. He leaves a terrible mess when he cooks dinner. And so on.

This was 1995. The Maryland suburbs that ring D.C. are made up of some of the best-educated people in the U.S. Liberals, mainly, just like me, an out-of-place Westerner. The women were strong and had careers in business or medicine or government.

But even in the closing decade of the 20th century, three decades into the women’s movement, the men were still considered primary breadwinners. So when they have ADHD, they not only struggle with inattention and hyperactivity, they also are underachievers in an overachieving world. And it’s not just their spouses who notice. One of the first questions asked in D.C. is about your work. My buddy L worked at home as a freelancer. Later, he was also a stay-at-home dad. I saw the strange looks that other men gave him. I guessed their thoughts: you’re not even a lobbyist? Remember that this is a place where you can get into policy wonk discussions at any time and any place.

One fine spring day during a clean-up hike of the Potomac with the Cub Scouts, one of the other dads found out that I worked at the National Endowment for the Arts. He was a conservative think-tank lobbyist and proceeded to tell me all the reasons the arts shouldn’t be government funded. Another adult leader chimed in that the arts were crucial and deserved even more federal funding. We were engaged in a lively debate when one of the Scouts came up and told us to get back to work. We looked at each other sheepishly and then returned to the task of picking up Snickers wrappers from the historic trails along the Potomac.

When I first met Chris 33 years ago, I was drawn like a hummingbird to her beauty and her vivacious nature. She was the lively one; I was the laid-back one. Later, she uncovered her learning disabilities and ADHD. I uncovered deep wells of depression. We discovered them, I should say. Some of it came about after the birth and toddlerhood of our son Kevin revealed his ADHD. It took us decades to unwrap all of these secrets. We didn’t do it alone – and it’s an ongoing process.

Cross-posted to easy to love but hard to raise.

Kevin the Climber, Part II

Vedauwoo photo from climbing site vedauwoo.org

This is a good day to be recalling some of my adventures with our son, Kevin. He’s flying in from Tucson today as a 26-year-old man who has a life of his own a thousand miles away. He’s a groomsman at a good friend’s wedding, and he taking an elongated spring break. He’s on the lifetime plan at a community college. But it’s his plan and I’m glad he has one. He doesn’t do much rock climbing any more, but it was his passion as a youngster growing up in Colorado and Wyoming. This post is the second installment of Kevin the Climber.

I watch my son Kevin as he clambers up the tumbledown boulder field of Vedauwoo in southeastern Wyoming’s Laramie Range during the summer of 1996.  There is something natural about this 11-year-old’s ease with the billion-year-old rock, the way he picks his way through narrow passageways and finds just the right finger hold to get up and over a house-sized chunk of Precambrian granite.  You could say that since he is a third-generation Coloradan, born within the magnetic fields of dozens of mountain ranges, he was destined to climb rocks.  He could just have easily been born to yodel country-western songs or snowboard naked or speculate in Aspen real estate or a thousand-and-one things Westerners seem compelled to do.  Kevin prefers rocks.

Where Kevin sees a ladder to the sky, I see a rocky barrier. I will climb until I get to the top or get stymied by a “radical vertical,” whichever comes first.   The rocks seem to beckon Kevin, to welcome him in ways foreign to me.  I have suggested that he should take rope-climbing classes, learn the traditional roots of the sport.  “Why would I want to do that?” he asks, as if it never occurred to him to place something as foreign as rope between him and the mountain.

It’s possible his rock worship might date back to our Druidic roots, our Celtic ancestors’ reciprocal relationship with the natural world.  It may just be that he likes free-climbing rocks the same way I loved surfing during my teen years on Florida’s Atlantic coast.  The Druid Surfer spawns the Druid Rockhead.  If we could jump back in time a million years or so, we could both be engaged in our separate passions right on this very spot.  He could be climbing Mesozoic rocks, still bursting from the earth’s crust, and I could be surfing the bitchin’ waves of the ancient inland sea.

Because Kevin has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, his love for rocks has physiological roots.  To concentrate is everything for this hyperactive kid.  He can’t do it for extended periods of time unless he is under the influence of Ritalin, a drug that helps him control an aggressive impulsiveness, one of the telltale signs of ADHD.  Right now, as he climbs toward the sharp blue Wyoming sky, the Ritalin, a central nervous system stimulant, is working on my son’s brain stem arousal system causing it to not be aroused.  Why is that?  Don’t look for any help from the medical texts.  Says thePhysicians’ Desk Reference:  There is no “specific evidence which clearly establishes the mechanism whereby Ritalin produces its mental and behavioral effects on children, nor conclusive evidence regarding how these effects relate to the condition of the central nervous system.”

Each time we climb, Kevin eventually disappears, leaving me to my own shortcomings as a climber.  I don’t mind.  Rocks offer him solace and solitude.  They do not call him names.  They do not mistake his energetic aura for anything else.  They are rocks and that is why we came here and why he will continue to climb long after I am sidelined by the aches of an aging Baby Boomer body.

Alone on the rocks, I get a chance to conduct my favorite climbing activity: sitting on a perch, watching the dark patterns that drifting cumulus make on the blue-green landscape.  Across the narrow valley, members of a rope-climbing class from University of Wyoming take turns rappeling down a cliff.  In the far distance on Sherman Hill, a line of trucks crawl along I-80 and a freight train crosses “The Gangplank” of the Laramie Range — a granite sheet that is a centuries-old thoroughfare for Cheyenne and Arapaho, pioneers, railroaders, vacationers and truckers, those transients that have been both boon and curse to the West.

I luxuriate in the feel of the cool breeze on my face, the tart taste of an apple on a July afternoon.  Hawks ride Vedauwoo’s complex air currents. A wonderful dream, to fly like a hawk.  Some time within the next hour Kevin will shout my name and I will look up to see him waving from a pinnacle, his lanky form etched against the blue sky. “Come on up!” he will yell, and I will return his wave and shake my head.

He goes some places where I cannot follow.

Cross-posted from easytolovebut blog. Way back when, this piece appeared in a longer and slightly different form in Montana’s now-defunct Northern Lights magazine.