Capital Chorale adds a dash of humorous seasonings to a rainy Cheyenne night

By now, decades into the electronics revolution, you would think that everyone would be safely at home on a rainy Friday night playing e-games or watching a super-hero flick on their mega-widescreen TV.

That's not the case. The more electronic options available, the greater the need to get out among our fellow humans. Yes, we are an untidy and argumentative bunch. We do like to get together to enjoy the arts.

Friday night featured a variety of offerings in Cheyenne. Chris and I attended the Cheyenne Capital Chorale "Tasteful Tapestries" concert. The Cheyenne Little Theatre offered "9 to 5 -- the musical" and the LCCC Theatre featured "Anne of Green Gables." Bands performed at local bars. The Suite Bistro held its usual karaoke night, which could be considered an art form depending on who's on stage at the time. If it's me, forget it.

My daughter Annie, however, has a great voice and was performing with the Capital Chorale last night. "Tasteful Tapestries" was all about food, as am I, so it was a natural choice to attend. Because I've been homebound for a month due to knee replacement, I've had an opportunity to hear Annie rehearse her solo and the other songs on the CCC repertoire. Unlike her violin practice in the fourth grade, which set neighborhood dogs howling, Annie's singing is a joy to hear. Her solo was the classic tune from "The Sound of Music," "My Favorite Things." A tuneful little ditty that I've heard hundreds of times during screenings if Chris's favorite film. The song has plentiful references to Austrian foodstuffs -- schnitzel with noodles and strudel -- so it fit easily into the evening's program. Janet Anderson performed "The Big Rock Candy Mountain," a song by Harry McClintock about the musings of a Depression-era hobo made famous in "O Brother, Where Art Thou." The Cheyenne Capital Quartet (plus one) tackled the classic "Snap, Crackle, Pop" advertising jingle, which brought back memories of endless bowls of Rice Krispies. The trio of Paula Egan-Wright, Sarah Scott and LuWana DePorter celebrated caffeinated beverages with the "Java Jive."

After breaks to bid on silent auction items and to buy yummy pastries (pecan pie!), the chorale launched into "The Seasonings" by P.D.Q. Bach, the pen name for musician and humorist Schickele. It's been decades since I've heard P.D.Q. Bach (1807-1742) performed. I forgot how clever and irreverent he can be. Songs included "Tarragon of Virtue is Full," "Bide Thy Thyme" and "To Curry Favor, Favor Curry." The pianist was accompanied by bicycle horns, triangles and some mysterious homemade instruments. The cast expanded to include a pair of cheerleaders, a chef, football players, and soothsayers.

A whopping good time was had by all. And money was raised for the 2015-2016 season.

And to think that all of this entertainment was brought to us by volunteers, our family members, friends and neighbors who are in it for the love of music.

Summer arts events flourish in Wyoming communities

Looking for something to do this summer?

You don't have to look very far.

The Wyoming Arts Council and the Wyoming Humanities Council have teamed up to chronicle "125 Days of Arts and Humanities." Why 125? Because this summer marks the 125th anniversary celebration of Wyoming statehood. The official big day is July 10. On that day, the Wyoming Territorial Prison State Historic Site holds a Statehood Celebration Day. That same weekend, you  can view Chinese artist/activist Ai Weiwei's sculptures in Jackson or groove to sounds of Marty Stuart and His Superlatives at the Big Horn Mountain Festival in Buffalo or ogle the art at Jackson Hole's art fair or talk mountains at the international climbers' festival in Lander or travel to the powwow in Ethete. Everyone should attend at least one powwow, Interesting and instructional, especially for us white folks who think we have all of the answers.

And that's just one WYO weekend.

On any weekend, you are almost certain to find a beerfest. A beer festival addresses the basic necessities of a summer weekend: craft beer, BBQ and music. Craft beer continues to make waves in WYO. We have some award-winners at Melvin Brewing/Thai Me Up in Jackson and Alpine. Snake River Brewery in Jackson has been brewing up Pako's IPA and a whole host of specialty brews for decades. They were among the first in the region to can their output. A new brewpub, Cheyenne Brewing Company, opens in early June in Cheyenne. You can get a more comprehensive list of craft brewers in Wyoming at

The Wyoming Brewers Festival is set for Cheyenne June 19-20. One of the interesting things about this festival is that its proceeds go toward rehabbing our city's historic train depot. The brewfesr culminates with a Saturday night concert by the Taylor Scott Band. Scott grew up in Cheyenne. There was a time when you could see the teen-age Scott and his band perform for free downtown. He's gone on to bigger and better things, his voice and musical skills honed from constant touring with his new band. Don't miss it.

Some final words. I've been working in the arts in Wyoming for 24 years. I continue to be amazed by the scope and variety of summer events. Many of the festivals on the list have arisen in the past 10 years. This is especially true of the brewfests, most of which feature music and some have art exhibits. Local food is a major element. At the Wyoming Arts Council, we joke about the fact that our small staff couldn't possibly attend all of the summer arts offerings. We could try, but who would be left to shuffle the state paperwork? But all of you can get out and support these events. That's what keeps these events going -- the sweat equity of local organizers. And your attendance.  

Visions of handmade local sugarplums dancing in my head

Next Saturday is Small Business Saturday. It's an opportunity for all of us to avoid the Big Box Stores in favor of the Small Box Stores, preferably locally-owned and locally-managed places. Buy your CDs, vinyl and funky clothing at Cheyenne's Ernie November's. Give your favorite beer drinker (hint, hint) a selection of beers from Freedom's Edge Brewery just down 16th Street from Ernie's. If you can wait until the following Saturday -- Dec. 1 -- local culinary artists (chocolate-covered bacon!) ply their wares at the Winter Farmers Market at the Historic Depot. Or browse local art galleries and studios during the next Art Design and Dine on Dec. 13. You'll find a broad selection of handmade/homemade items for the arts lover on your list. Buy books by Wyoming authors at City News or directly from the writers. For ideas, see Wyoming Writers, Inc., or consult the list of writers on the Wyoming Arts Council blog sidebar.

Speaking of the arts.... Tickets to concerts and plays make for splendid holiday presents. If I was Martha Stewart, I would buy tickets to a Cheyenne Little Theatre Players show, put it in an envelope, place that in a box, put that box inside a bigger box, wrap the big box in festive wrapping and then place it under the boughs of a Christmas tree harvested in the Snowy Range and decorated with dazzling homemade ornaments, many of which are edible. Since I'm not Martha Stewart, I shall still buy the theatre tickets at the last minute and stash them in my loved one's Christmas stocking while I sip home-brewed grog late on Christmas Eve as the Led Zeppelin Christmas album plays in the background.

Check out more shopping ideas on the Small Business Saturday Facebook page. You can get free downloadable signage at www.shopsmall.com.

Create locally, submit locally, publish locally, see your work in local litmag

The High Plains Register at Laramie County Community College accepts previously unpublished, original poetry, fiction, creative nonfiction, drama, music, and artwork. All LCCC students are eligible to submit; local and greater-Wyoming community submissions also encouraged.

All LCCC student submissions will be eligible for the High Plains Register Award for Best Poem, Fiction, Creative Nonfiction, and Drama Music or Artwork.

Postal (snail) mail submissions must be postmarked no later than October 15, 2012. The deadline for electronic submissions is 5 p.m., October 19, 2012.

Get more info at the HPR's spiffy new web page at http://lccc.wy.edu/life/clubs/HPR

In the future, Wyoming travelers may yearn to be stranded at Denver's revamped airport

I happened upon Fast Company's Co.Exist (and Co-Create and Co.Design) during my perambulations around the Internet. All three are great places to waste (I mean, "spend") some time exploring new inventions and trends and ideas and foodways. Next time I'm in Copenhagen, I'm going to try to get a table at Noma for a plate of ants and blueberries, or barbecue carrots with sorrel sauce and hay ash. There is a hidden beauty to suburban sprawl -- and an array of stunning photos is offered in evidence. We are wasting our time harnessing wind at ground level -- we should be tethering high-flying wind-generating kites at 10 kilometers. Lots of them.

And airports aren't just for passing through any more. Munich's new airport offers an entire Oktoberfest experience, Hong Kong International offers an outdoor nine-hole golf course and a 350-seat IMAX theatre, Lagos's new airport will feature a duty-free shop with bargain-basement prices on kitchen appliances, and Changi International in Singapore features a Balinese-themed swimming pool. The airport was built on the site of one of Japan's most notorious World War II POW camps, the setting for James Clavell's compelling novel, "King Rat." Wonder if you can buy the book at the airport?

And here's what co.Exist had to say about Denver's soon-to-be-renovated DIA:

Architect's rendering of the new DIA

The Denver International Airport is getting more “Colorado.” It’s being expanded and transformed into a quasi city center, connected both physically and emotionally to downtown Denver and the region. A Westin hotel and conference center (with a dynamite rooftop pool and views of the Rockies) is part of the expansion program along with an outdoor public plaza for staging community events and a new fast rail line (and station) that will whisk travelers and Denver residents alike to/from downtown Denver.

Cheyenne can't compete with that. However, our new airport terminal may help airlines do a much better job shuttling us to DIA for the ambience that surrounds a Thanksgiving flight to Aunt Martha's or a business trip to D.C. Heck, Wyoming travelers may soon yearn to be stranded at DIA due to a holiday blizzard.

It's interesting to note that the new DIA will connect people "physically and emotionally to downtown Denver and the region." It may soon be easier to fly than drive from Cheyenne to Denver for a football weekend or for a weekend of shopping and entertainment. While Cheyenne long ago ceded Front Range leadership to Denver, this new transportation complex could make that reality permanent. But Cheyenne can hop on this bandwagon, making sure that we're a primary feeder hub to DIA and Denver. We haven't done a very good job of that in the past. By enhancing those things that make us great, we'll be a player in the region.

That doesn't mean making Cheyenne a mini-Denver. It means making Cheyenne more Cheyenne. As Mayor Kaysen has said time and again, one of our priorities has to be the revitalization of downtown. Keep at it, Cheyenne. Make Cheyenne more Cheyenne by saving its historic central business district. Nobody makes a destination of a place that excels in strip malls or Wal-Marts. They do want to travel to a place that has character. That's what Cheyenne Frontier Days is all about -- "Live the Legend!" It's the Old West meeting the New West. The Old West is rodeo and cowboys and country-western music. The New West means a vibrant downtown with brewpubs and restaurants and rock concerts and art galleries and western clothing stores mixed with funky boutiques. The distinctive music and art that's offered at these places should come from local and regional musicians and artists and artisans. The restaurant food should come from Southern Wyoming (SoWy) and Northern Colorado (NoCo) farms and ranches. Some of it can be grown on rooftop gardens and greenhouses. What a thriving place downtown Cheyenne will be. Denverites may want to hop on a plane at DIA and fly north to Cheyenne because there's no place like it on earth. Imagine that.

Architect's rendering of new Cheyenne airport terminal.

BeatGrass plays at the Atlas April 28

http://facebook.com/beatgrassband

Shop locally at Dec. 3 Cheyenne Winter Market

The next Cheyenne Winter Farmers' Market is on Saturday, Dec. 3, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Vendor businesses are locally owned and operated -- "local" meaning within 150 miles of Cheyenne. Last year at the December market, I bought a handmade scarf and hat set for my wife by an artrepreneur in Chugwater (she raises her own llamas). I bought several ornaments from a Cheyenne glass artist. And baked goods galore. Some fine tamales. How did I pay for this? With the fruits of my hard-working Liberal nature, of course. And my handy credit union credit card. I moved my money long ago. You should too.

Local Harvest describes it this way:

This is a fun indoor market with great energy and super vendors. Fair-Trade Coffee, Goat Cheese, Handmade Chocolates, Cinnamon rolls, chowders, locally raised Mushrooms, Gourmet Pastas, Black Forest Ham, beef, bison, lamb, chicken, turkey, chicken eggs, take out Bar-B-Que, artisan breads, cookies, cakes, and much more. This market is 85% food vendors with the balance of crafts or body care products.

FMI: http://www.localharvest.org/cheyenne-winter-farmers-market-M40878

Art Design & Dine adds venues for "Cheyenne's In Town Art Tours" on Nov. 10 and Dec. 8

More arts and food venues added to the Art Design & Dine schedule. Music too!

Think and buy locally as you go a-wassailing and a-caroling and a-gifting this holiday season

The work of Wyoming glass artist Laurie Thal is exhibited and utilized worldwide.  But you can go out to her Teton County studio and gallery and buy locally crafted gifts for under $100. On Saturday, I bought a pair of handmade drinking glasses for $50 and am happy to report that they each one is just right for a 12-ounce Pako IPA handcrafted by the Snake River Brewing in Jackson. What could be more Wyoming than that? In photo above, Laurie is shown at her furnace that is filled with molten glass. To book glass studio tours and workshops, go to www.thalglass.com

Hummingbirdminds is about a lot of things. It is about your blowhard editor regaling you with his deeply held beliefs. It is about progressive politics. It is about fine food and great craft beers. It is about snark.

Most of all, it is about my community. I am a locavore, as much as I can be in high-and-dry-and-cold Wyoming. I also love and promote locallit, localart and localtunes. And what better time to support all that than during this holiday season when all of us will be a-wassailing, a-caroling and a-buying gifts for our loved ones?

I spied the following post by Joseph Segal on the Rebuild the Dream Facebook page. It sums up the “buy local” theme for me this holiday season. As I read it, I kept trying to tally those local businesses that I had patronized the past month or so. Ariel Casiano and his crew aerated my lawn and trimmed my trees. Our family dined at the Morris House Bistro, owned and operated by local entrepreneurs. I got my hair cut last week by local stylists who happen to make their living via the CostCutters chain. I ate at Shadows Brewpub downtown which makes its own beers.

The list is long. Read this and find other ways to help your local economy:

Christmas 2011 -- Birth of a New Tradition

As the holidays approach, the giant Asian factories are kicking into high gear to provide Americans with monstrous piles of cheaply produced goods. Merchandise that has been produced at the expense of American labor.

This year will be different. This year Americans will give the gift of genuine concern for other Americans. There is no longer an excuse that, at gift giving time, nothing can be found that is produced by American hands. Yes there is!

It's time to think outside the box, people. Who says a gift needs to fit in a shirt box, wrapped in Chinese produced wrapping paper?

Everyone -- yes EVERYONE gets their hair cut. How about gift certificates from your local American hair salon or barber?

Gym membership? It's appropriate for all ages who are thinking about some health improvement.

Who wouldn't appreciate getting their car detailed? Small, American owned detail shops and car washes would love to sell you a gift certificate or a book of gift certificates.

Are you one of those extravagant givers who think nothing of plunking down the Benjamins on a Chinese made flat-screen? Perhaps that grateful gift receiver would like his driveway sealed, or lawn mowed for the summer, or driveway plowed all winter, or games at the local golf course.

There are a bazillion owner-run restaurants -- all offering gift certificates. And, if your intended isn't the fancy eatery sort, what about a half dozen breakfasts at the local breakfast joint. Remember, folks this isn't about big National chains -- this is about supporting your home town
Americans with their financial lives on the line to keep their doors open.

How many people couldn't use an oil change for their car, truck or motorcycle, done at a shop run by the American working guy?

Thinking about a heartfelt gift for mom? Mom would LOVE the services of a local cleaning lady for a day.

My computer could use a tune-up, and I KNOW I can find some young guy who is struggling to get his repair business up and running.

OK, you were looking for something more personal. Local crafts people spin their own wool and knit them into scarves. They make jewelry, and pottery and beautiful wooden boxes.

Plan your holiday outings at local, owner operated restaurants and leave your server a nice tip. And, how about going out to see a play or ballet at your hometown theatre.

Musicians need love too, so find a venue showcasing local bands.

Honestly, people, do you REALLY need to buy another ten thousand Chinese lights for the house? When you buy a five dollar string of light, about fifty cents stays in the community. If you have those kinds of bucks to burn, leave the mailman, trash guy or babysitter a nice BIG tip.

You see, Christmas is no longer about draining American pockets so that China can build another glittering city. Christmas is now about caring about US, encouraging American small businesses to keep plugging away to follow their dreams. And, when we care about other Americans, we care about our communities, and the benefits come back to us in ways we couldn't imagine.

THIS is the new American Christmas tradition

My laptop was not purchased from a local artisan -- but my coffee cup and cereal bowl were

Hummingbirdminds couldn't agree more with this graphic. Will I buy every Christmas gift from a local artist, writer, crafter or designer? No, as it's not possible to buy an iPad from my neighbor (even though he's very creative). However, the world is a more local place if I buy some of my gifts in Cheyenne. I did that last year at the Cheyenne Winter Market at Depot Plaza. Will do more of that this year. This graphic comes from the Colorado Creative Industries Facebook page. 

High Plains Register looking for local fiction, creative nonfiction, poetry, drama, art and music

This comes from Karen Cotton, one of the editors of LCCC’s literary and arts magazine, High Plains Register:

The magazine is accepting submissions from:

Writers of poetry, fiction, creative non-fiction, or drama

Arists

Photographers

Musicians

DEADLINE IS OCT. 28

Here are the submission guidelines:

All submissions, up to six per person, must include a cover letter with submitter's contact information.

Writing: Send typed hardcopy or e-mail attached Word document (10 pages maximum each; double space prose)

Artwork and music: Digital files preferred (CD or e-mail attachment)

ALL LCCC student submissions will be eligible for the High Plains Register Award for Best Poem, Fiction, Creative Nonfiction, Drama, Artwork or Music.

Submissions from the community also encouraged.

Send submissions to:

Liz Jackson

c/o LCCC Arts and Humanities

1400 E. College Drive

Cheyenne, WY 82001

or e-mail LJackson@lccc.wy.edu

Facebook page is http://www.facebook.com/people/HighPlains-Register/600142279

The 2012 High Plains Register release and public reading will be noon, Friday April 27, 2012 in the Student Lounge. Call 778-1330 or search for HPR at lccc.wy.edu.

Cheyenne's Reproacher in concert this weekend

Joel Funk, one of my son Kevin's friends, is in the local metal band Reproacher, Cheyenne’s “crust punk heavyweights.” The band plays with three others this Sunday, Oct. 9, at the Lion's Park Old Community House. Bring earplugs, says the Facebook invitation. Of course, that’s also what CFD tells patrons attending summer concerts by Taylor Swift and Lady Antebellum. Amplified music is loud! Bring earplugs! For event info and to RSVP, go to http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=140694529361884&notif_t=event_invite. Support local music!

Grant Family Farms looking for band to play live music Sept. 24 at bus repainting party

This comes from Grant Family Farms in Wellington, Colo.:

BAND WANTED!

I'm hoping you all have heard about our bus repainting party this Saturday (Sept. 24). Well, to make this a fun day we would love to have some live music there! If you are willing to donate your time for a few hours ~9-12 please let us know. Would love to have you at the farm!

Go to http://www.coloradoan.com/article/20110917/NEWS01/109170393/Vandals-hit-Grant-Family-Farms-chicken-buses-Wellington?odyssey=tab

Powder River Basin Resource Council holds "Harvest Celebration" fund-raiser Aug. 27 in Sheridan

Good food & good music for a great cause. FMI: www.powderriverbasin.org

Vertical Harvest @ The Roof in Jackson

Very cool project to build a vertical greenhouse  on the south side of the downtown parking garage in Jackson. The big launch is Thursday, July 28, on the top floor of the garage. Lots of local food and music and beer from the good folks at the Thai Me Up Brewery. Try the Brother Ted Dubbel or the Dopplebock. FMI: http://verticalharvest.wordpress.com/.  

Let's Move! program gets kids up and moving and creating and eating healthy food

Having fun at the Manhattan Children's Museum

This new program sounds fun and educational -- with emphasis on the fun. Kids who take part in activities that promote healthy local foods and artistic movement and creativity (and creating) will be better prepared for the challenges they will inherit from their elders. And less likely to believe that the local food movement is a Commie plot. They also may get the strange idea that public-funded entities (That Darn Gubment!) such as museums and libraries are essential to their community’s well-being. We can hope. And support innovative projects such as Let’s Move!

This blog post comes from Susan Hildreth, director of the Institute of Museum and Library Services:

The space shuttle wasn’t the only launch in Houston last week! At a meeting with thousands of museum professionals I had the great honor of joining First Lady Michelle Obama as we launched Let’s Move! Museums and Gardens. 

 Speaking via video message to attendees of the Association of Children’s Museums and American Association of Museums Annual Meetings, Mrs. Obama said, “Everyday, in museums, public gardens, zoos, and so many other places, you expose our children to new ideas and inspire them to stretch their imaginations. You teach them new skills and new ways of thinking.  And you instill a love of learning that will stay with them for the rest of their lives. 

Every day, you all make such a difference in the lives of our children. And that’s why I’m so excited to work with you on an issue that is so critical to their health and well-being.”  

The national initiative, coordinated by the Institute of Museum and Library Services, will provide opportunities for millions of museum and garden visitors to learn about healthy food choices and physical activity through interactive exhibits and programs. 

Museums and gardens are eager to do their part in making a difference. Many of them have core missions that focus on creating healthy environments for children and their families.

Let’s Move! Museums & Gardens will focus on interactive exhibits, afterschool, summer programming and food service that help young people to make healthy food choices and be physically active.

Local art walk this evening -- and a meeting about energizing the local art scene

This is the second Thursday of the month so that means...

...the Art Design and Dine art walk from 5-8 p.m. Eight local galleries and exhibition spaces are open with new work this evening. Mixed-media artist Pravina Gondalia (sample of her work shown above) will be at Glen Garrett's Gallery, Haitian art will be on display at Clay Paper Scissors, glass artists at Prairie Wind and Deselms, and the art of Ringo Stavrowsky at the Link Gallery. Check out the ADD web site for more info on the shows.

Also at the Link Gallery -- Alan O'Hashi will announce the line-up for the Cheyenne International Film Festival. The first festival last spring was fantastic and I'm looking forward to some boffo movies (and box office) this year. Get more info at www.cheyenneinternationalfilmfestival.org

And don't forget the food and beverages at Ruby Juice and the Laramie County Public Library Cafe, co-sponsors of the art walk.

Prior to the art walk from 4-5:30 p.m., the Cheyenne Arts Council will host a meeting at the Historic Atlas Theatre, 211 W. 16th St., to "present its mission, image, goals and action plan -- the arts community is invited to express interest and to get involved." Get more info at 307-222-4747 or www.cheyenneartscouncil.org.

Artists and writers and performers and arts workers and arts funders and arts appreciators should show up. Remember what Woody Allen said about "showing up." It's especially important now as the Cheyenne Arts Council takes shape.

Enjoy your local theatre this weekend

Cheyenne Little Theatre Players’ productions come fast and furious for us fans. For the directors and actors and stage builders and musicians – each play represents many long hours of work.

Chris and I volunteer often for the CLTP. Neither of us is much on acting and/or singing. Chris has some improve experience and I’m an emcee at the summer melodrama. But we love to watch people who can act and sing. 

We’ll be volunteering with other able-bodied folks this weekend for “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee” at the Historic Atlas Theatre in downtown Cheyenne. The play’s music and lyrics are by William Finn from a book by Rachel Sheinkin

Performance Dates: March 18-20 & 25-27

Cast:

Chip Tolentino/Jesus: Kevin Guille
Logainne Schwartzandgrubenniere: Stephanie Medema
Leaf Coneybear/Carl Dad: Jeran Artery
William Barfee: Chris Arneson
Marcy Park: Marcie Smith
Olive Ostrovsky: Kathy Borgaard
Rona Lisa Perretti/Olive’s Mom: Patty Walkley
Vice Principal Douglas Panch: Keith Thomson
Mitch Mahoney/Dan dad/Olive dad: Terry Barbre

Description: A hilarious tale of overachievers’ angst chronicling the experience of six adolescent outsiders vying for the spelling championship of a lifetime. The show’s Tony Award winning creative team has created the unlikeliest of hit musicals about the unlikeliest of heroes: a quirky yet charming cast of outsiders for whom a spelling bee is the one place where they can stand out and fit in at the same time.

Get your tickets at http://www.cheyennelittletheatre.org

Cheyenne's Tuesday farmers' market moves downtown in June

While spending my allowance Saturday at the Cheyenne Winter Farmers' Market at the Depot, I ran into Sara Burlingame-Thomas. Whenever there's a farmers' market or progressive cause, Sara can't be far away. Most of the time she's leading the charge.

Back when Sara was proprietor of the now-defunct Sara's Breads, she started up an alternative market, held each Tuesday in a parking lot on Yellowstone Road just a bit north of Dell Range and about three blocks from my house. The market is sandwiched between Cool River, the neighborhood liquor store, and a chain bread store that makes some nice sweet rolls. It's a small lot, but it's been home to the market for years.

Sara says that in June 2011, the market will move to the Depot Plaza downtown. My neighborhood will miss it, but it will be a big boost to downtown. That means that the plaza will be lively at least three nights a week each summer. There will be the Tuesday market, the Friday evening concerts and the big Saturday market that begins the week after Frontier Days ends. During Frontier Days, the plaza stages nightly concerts. A half-block away is the Atlas Theatre with its nightly melodrama, sometimes featuring yours truly as emcee.

But before and after CFD, tumblin' tumbleweeds are the only things moving downtown on many nights. There are a few bars and restaurants. People come out to see the films at the Lincoln Theater. But there are too many vacant downtown buildings, some that have been empty for decades. And many businesses close at 5, even in summer.

Sara says that the market wants to feature live music and work out some deals with local restaurants to get people to stay downtown to eat after buying their grass-fed beef and lettuce and and bedding plants from vendors. Great ideas.

Now, if we can only come up with a creative idea to fill in downtown's Big Gaping Hole. Just filling it in would be a start. What about a community garden?

I'll plant the first seed.

No Hobbit Homes for Tea Party Slim

When my neighbor, Tea Party Slim, came to the door, I thought he was going to rub my face in the election results.

But I was wrong.

“I guess you won,” I said, extending my hand.

He shook it. “We did. But that’s water under the bridge. Got a few minutes?”

Slim didn’t wait for an invitation. He breezed right past me and sat on the couch. He held a sheaf of papers in his right hand. He shook them at me. “America’s suburbs are threatened with a gigantic conspiracy.”

“Want some coffee?” I asked.

“Not if it’s that shade-tree grown farmer-friendly commie goop they sell at farmer’s markets and serve at trendy city coffee shops.”

I was taken aback. Slim had never refused coffee before.

“That’s what I’m saying. The cities are talking over, trying to push us suburbanites into U.N.-mandated human habitation zones.”

I had many questions. But first, I had to set the record straight. “Slim, we don’t live in the suburbs.”

“We do too. We’re not in the city. That’s downtown.”

“We’re in the city limits. The suburbs ring a city. Suburbanites have to drive to work.”

“I drive to work. So do you.”

“True, but sometimes I walk. Sometimes I ride my bike. I could ride the bus if I wanted.”

“That’s what they want – public transportation.”

During the past year, I’ve had similar one-sided conversations with Slim. Socialized health care. Missing birth certificates. Elitists in Washington. It was best to get a cup of commie coffee and let it play out. So I did.

“You’ve heard of Article 21?” He was shaking the papers at me again.

“I haven’t.”

He smiled. “I knew it.” There followed a long convoluted explanation, so long, in fact, that it forced me back to the coffee pot. When I returned, Slim was still talking. It was peppered with references to "compact development" and "smart growth" and “sustainable development” and "New Urbanism" and "transit-oriented development” and “creative economy” and "livable communities."

“These all lead to the same thing – the U.N. forcing us to live in Hobbit homes.”

“You mean Hobbit like in the movie? Those nifty little houses in Hobbiton with the round doors?”

“Not so cute if you’re 6-foot-2 like I am and are forced to live in one and give up your two-car garage and three bathrooms and big kitchen and back porch with the gas grill.” He looked like he was going to cry.

“Don’t worry, Slim. None of that is going to happen. Hobbiton is just an imaginary place.”

His face took on the rosy red glare of Tea Party outrage. “You’re darn right it’s not going to happen. Americans have the Constitutional right to live in any kinds of houses we want and drive any kind of truck we want.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” I said.

“Trucks are our ‘personal mobility machines” – that’s what Ed Braddy of the American Dream Coalition calls them. He’s a real trailblazer – you should look him up. A true visionary.”

“I drive a Prius, but you know that. But I’m thinking of buying that new electric car. Just plug it in at night – no more gas stations.”

He laughed. “Article 21 already has you by the balls. Next thing you’re going to tell me is that you and your wife are going to retire to a cramped city condo instead of a sprawling retirement community in Arizona with a golf course.”

“Yes, Slim, that’s exactly what I’m saying. The misses and I already have a cool condo picked out in Denver. It’s close to stores and museums and relatives. We can walk everywhere or take the light rail. No lawns to mow and water. The apartment complex even has its own roof garden where I can plant my veggies. It’s close to a bikepath and …..

Slim stood. He’d heard enough. “You go ahead and live in a Hobbit home, Frodo.” He shook his papers. “We’re going to fight this at city hall. No human habitation zones for us.”

I stood. “Good luck, man. You’ve had some recent successes so best to strike while the iron’s hot.”

"Join us, Mike. Join the rising tide of outrage against nearly everything.”

I saw Slim to the door. “I’d love to, Slim, but I have to ride my bike to the winter farmer’s market in the renovated historic Depot downtown to buy my locally produced food and locally made Christmas presents. That’s all part of sustainable development, Slim.”

I thought his head would explode. But he calmed himself and smiled. “We’re on a winning streak, you said so yourself.”

“True, but streaks don’t last forever. Just ask a baseball player. Or a Democrat. Even a Republican.”

With that, he said his farewells, got in his truck and drove to his house two doors down.

Inspiration for this piece came from the recent article in Mother Jones, “The Tea Party Targets… Sustainable Development?” by Stephanie Mencimer. Go to http://motherjones.com/politics/2010/11/tea-party-agenda-21-un-sustainable-development?