Showing posts with label sexual abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexual abuse. Show all posts

Saturday, August 27, 2022

Jane Campbell explores the "persecution of remembering" in her Cat Brushing story collection

The cover of Jane Campbell's story collection, "Cat Brushing," shows a ringed hand sweeping across the fur of what must be a very large cat or maybe the gorgeous gray locks of one of the author's elderly women characters. It could be both as you will discover reading her 13 wonderful stories in the POV of women in their 70s and beyond. This is her first book, published in her 80th year, as it says on the book jacket. I'm nine years younger than her which puts us, approximately, in the same age cohort.  

These tales are quite personal, erotic in spots. Am I surprised that women of a certain age have erotic thoughts and sometimes more than thoughts? No, but as a person in this age group, I am impressed by the directness of the stories. It challenges the idea that women of a certain age must be handled carefully lest they fall and break a hip or leave a pot burning on the stove. It's the "I've fallen and I can't get up" woman sprawled on the kitchen floor who would be lost without her handy Medic-Alert bracelet and her male rescuers. Old and helpless.

Fuck that.

In "The Question," the narrator gulps down a dose of morphine and describes the rush that results. I figured she was a goner, in the last stages of cancer, but she's actually a feisty woman who chased after her cat on a winter night and fell on her porch's icy steps. The idea that she likes the buzz of the morphine helps us get to know this woman in a rehab center who has no intention of staying abed. Tests surprisingly reveal she has no broken bones and only sustained a few bumps and bruises. When released, she asks her male nurse if she can have a to-go portion of the opioid. He genially refuses but as we read the interaction between patient and nurse, we find that she knew him in the past and knows his dark secret. 

The writer has a sure touch in turning tales on their head. In "Kiskadee," a woman lies by a pool in Bermuda and hears the melodious song of the Kiskadee, a predatory tropical bird with a big beak designed for killing. Interspersed are memories of her "special relationship" with her father. She recalls years of touching and cuddling, sleeping together, syrupy words from the father. Story's end has a horrible twist which I won't spoil here.

Most of these women recount loves gained and loves lost. The memories are clear and immediate, no brain fog here.

I reread Campbell's second story, "The Scratch."  Nell wonders how she scratched herself, a cut that bled profusely. 

What drawers had she opened carelessly, perhaps knives rearranged, had she handled scissors?

She forgets about phone calls with her grown children. She forgets things even though she writes everything in her diary.

But it's not the forgetting that concerns her most. 

The old barriers behind which she could once shelter... they all tumble down as the years pass. Just as running upstairs becomes a lost art and skipping down becomes impossible, so the capacity to forget is lost. There is a persecution of remembering. Remembering so much. Those midnight hours, dark nights of the soul, where remorse bites hard and the past presses against you.

Nell, in her 70s, forgets how to forget. 

I too, in my 70s, have forgotten how to forget. Memories become crisp and clear, even those I want to forget. This hit me so hard. Since retirement, I've been wondering why old memories come flooding back to me. As an old person, aren't I suppose to forget things instead of them rushing back to me with incredible force? It's not like I'm bored, lazing about in a tepid pool of nostalgia. 

Still, the memories flow. 

As you climb toward retirement, friends and family urge you to be busy when work ceases and you have all the time in the world. People get bored, get sick, get careless. But that's not it at all. Memories can overwhelm your present if you are not busy making more memories. They don't tell you about the "persecution of remembering." We have to leave that up to Campbell and her fictional characters. 

Saturday, June 03, 2017

Saturday morning round-up: Of betrayal, downed tree limbs and fractured history

BREAKING: Trump still president. the world mourns (and guffaws)

ON "THE KEEPERS" AND BETRAYAL: I have been trying to write about the Netflix docuseries "The Keepers" for the past week. I've written plenty but can't seem to plumb my true feelings on betrayal and the Catholic Church. In 1969, was a Baltimore nun murdered because she threatened to expose a priest and his police buddies for their sexual abuse of students at a Catholic girls school? I don't know the answer, as I've seen only two episodes of "The Keepers" and may not watch the remaining five. I have watched other true crime shows such as "The People vs. O.J., Simpson" and "Amanda Knox." I read hard-boiled detective novels by the score. "Chinatown" is one of my favorite movies. Want to talk about betrayal? "Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown." The Keepers" has affected me in a strange way. The murder took place in the year I graduated from a Catholic high school. I recognize the nuns and priests and female students from their photos in the school annual. I know how we respected and feared the nuns and priests. I know the heavy hand of the hierarchy that raised me and how it still operated when dogged reporters blew the lid off of the Boston clergy abuse scandals (as seen in "Spotlight"). It could have happened at my school. It didn't, as far as I know. But that's only as far as I know. Forget it, Mike, it's not Chinatown -- it's the Catholic Church.

AFTER THE DELUGE: Note to the City of Cheyenne -- I still have tree limbs out front waiting to be picked up and shredded. The limbs came down in the big May 18-19 snowstorm, which dumped three feet of heavy, wet snow. Three big limbs detached from my elm. With a handsaw, I cut them into shorter lengths and dragged them to my front yard. Now I hear that the city may not get to them for several more weeks. The brush piles will make nice birthing centers for local rabbits. My cat already seeks shelter there and birds land and perch. I may soon turn it into a public work of art. If that happens, you won't be able to touch it due to my artistic license, which never expires.

BOOKS AND HISTORY: If you think our politics are dysfunctional, you should read history. Reading is FUN-damental. Tell that to our president. I am reading "The Proud Tower" by Barbara Tuchman. The subtitle, "A Portrait of the World Before the War, 1890-1914," speaks volumes. The world was a mess before The Great War and possessed all of the elements that led us into the carnage of 1914-1918. Even though the book is packed with names and details and is a bit daunting at times, tension trembles on each page because we know what is coming. The world sets up its own disaster. It is traumatized by the results. We know the antiwar poetry of Wilfred Owen and Siegfried Sassoon. But what propelled these British gentlemen to march off to battle, go home for shell-shock treatment, and then return, even when they suspected what the end would be? We are combative mammals that, apparently, never learn. If you think that we do, watch "War Machine" on Netflix. This recounts the reasons that we still are in Afghanistan, the "graveyard of empires."

DANCIN' ON THE PLAZA: Last night, Chris and I hung out at Depot Plaza with other music lovers to hear sounds from Soul-X and JJ and Wilito's Final Touch. Great music -- and free. Fun to dance to. We especially liked the Santana set by Final Touch. I moved around while Chris actually danced because she can. It was dark, so I felt secure that the crowd was not watching me but intent on the fine musicians on the lighted stage. This is summer, stuff we eagerly await all fall and winter and spring. Thanks to the Wyoming Tribune-Eagle for sponsoring Soul-X. Thanks for the organizers of the Cheyenne Hispanic Festival for bringing in Final Touch and other bands that will play at the plaza today. And thanks to the beer vendors, who staffed taps for the usual suspects and ones for Modelo, Stone IPA and New Belgium Watermelon/Lime ale.  Variety -- that's the ticket. I still have some beer tickets. See you next Friday.