A (belated) Christmas memory, Colorado and Capote

"The closest thing to heaven on this planet anywhere

Is a quiet Christmas morning in the Colorado snow."

That's the refrain in "Colorado Christmas" by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, a song written by Steve Goodman. I listened to it numerous times during the Christmas season and call it up other times. It's pure nostalgia, a musician in a L.A. hotel dreaming about "Telluride and Boulder Down below." No mention of Denver, my hometown, or Aurora, where I did some of my growing up, or Fort Collins, where I attended grad school. Telluride is a wonder, deep in the Rockies, well known for skiing and summer music festivals. Something beautiful about sitting on a grassy field under the stars listening to music. Boulder, of course, is known coast-to-coast for its counterculture vibe, beatniks and hippies, Naropa Institute, the CU cafeteria named for a Colorado cannibal, "South Park," and the Flatirons jutting up to the west like, well, flatirons. John Fante grew up in Boulder. You can get heated up about your favorite cause and then cool off at the Dalton Trumbo Fountain Court on the CU campus.

So, is NGDB from Colorado? They are in the Colorado Music Hall of Fame and many in its roster of performers live in Colorado. Long-time member Jimmy Ibbotson had a recording studio in Woody Creek outside Aspen, also known as the lair of the late Hunter S. Thompson.

I first heard "Colorado Christmas" in Aspen. Christine and I were up in Starwood, heading to our friend Steve's father's house, when we got stuck in a snowbank. We drove an AMC/Renault compact, not even front-wheel drive. Driving up the night before, we got lost and stopped at an intersection where a big 4WD was parked. Obviously lost, we waved, the window rolled down, and John Denver poked out his head. Yes, he said, this is the right road to Starwood. We thanked him and didn't even ask him for a song. We maneuvered up the scary road to the summit. Two hours later we drove down. The next morning, we drove back up and got stuck. As we did the usual rock-and-roll motion to free the car, "Colorado Christmas" came on the radio. I thought it was the most beautiful song I ever heard even though at that very moment we were stuck on a quiet Christmas morning in the Colorado snow. "The closest thing to heaven on this planet anywhere..." What could we do? We laughed, and kept on rollin'.

We live in Florida now.

Speaking of Christmas memories --

"A Christmas Memory" was a 1966 Emmy-winning televised story by Truman Capote. A remake appeared later but it lacked what made the earlier one stand out, narrator Capote. So special to hear his voice recall a rural Alabama childhood memory. A young Capote (Buddy in the story) is deserted by his parents and stays with his grown-up second cousin Sook whose goal for the season is to make 30 fruitcakes for friends and neighbors. She is dirt-poor in the midst of the Great Depression and she and Buddy scrape together what they have saved during the year and set out on their quest. First stop: salvage "windfall pecans" from Farmer Callahan's grove. They buy makings at the general store and a bottle of bootleg whiskey from Ha Ha Jones Fish Fry and Dancing Cafe. They make the cakes and distribute them just in time for Christmas. The cakes are sweet and imply a bit of a buzz. The sweetest part is the young Capote and his grown-up voice, this tiny story that came from the writer who gave us true stories of Kansas murderers, Manhattan society dames, and tortured souls who haunt Tiffany's. Capote was a tortured soul but how he could write. 

Listen to Linda: Don't ignore those symptoms

This is a reprint of a Wyoming Tribune-Eagle column by old friend and work colleague Linda Coatney of Cheyenne, Wyo. It speaks of a subject important to us all, especially those of a certain age. Reprinted as a public service, whether you're in the windswept wilds of Wyoming or the soggy swamplands of Central Florida. 

We remember our brother Tommy

Tommy Shay and his dog Duke

In Memoriam: Tommy Shay 

Thomas Gerard Shay (“Tommy”), age 65, passed away peacefully after a short illness on Christmas Day, 2025, with family at his side.  He was an organ donor and willed his body to medical research. He was born in Denver on Jan. 28, 1960, and grew up in Wichita, KS, Moses Lake, WA, and Daytona Beach, and was a long-time resident of Palm Bay where he worked as a machinist for 30 years at Winchester Interconnect, Melbourne. He is survived by brothers Michael Shay (Christine) and Timothy Shay (Jen) both of Ormond Beach, four sisters Molly Shay Shakar of Decatur, GA, Eileen Shay Casey (Brian) of Winter Park, FL, Maureen Shay Martinez (Ralph) Ormond Beach. and Mary Shay Powell (Neill), Tallahassee, and his significant other, Tani Hopkins, Decatur, GA. His brothers Daniel Shay (Nancy) of Ormond Beach and Patrick Shay (Jean) of Palm Bay preceded him in death, as did his parents, Anna Hett Shay and Thomas Reed Shay. His family meant everything to him and he will be mourned by his nephews and nieces: Kevin, Annie, Meghan, Connor, Ryan, Bryce, Thomas, Michael, Katie, Maggie, Erin, Katie, Olivia, Finn, Mayzee, Sean, Maddie, Olivia, Morgan and his many great-nieces and nephews. Tommy grew up surfing in Daytona Beach and was a founding member of the “Hartford Heavies.” The family dog, Shannon, was his constant companion while he surfed.  As an adult, he spent Sundays surfcasting with friends on Melbourne Beach. He lent a helping hand to family, friends, and neighbors who looked forward to ripe avocados and limes from Tommy’s backyard orchard. He camped with his dogs Ophie and his hound Duke who passed away in 2023. He was proud of his stamp and coin collections. Tommy was a metal detector hunter and tossed foreign coins on the beach for other hunters to find. “He looked out for everyone,” said his surf-fishing buddy.  Tommy loved dogs and requested donations be made to Riley’s Rescue of Brevard County, 215 Krefeld Rd. NW, Palm Bay, FL 32907 or FL Aid to Animals/Palm Bay, 3585 Bayside Lake Blvd. SE, Palm Bay, FL 32909. Tommy was a spiritual person but at his request, no service will be held. His family has tentatively scheduled a Paddle Out on April 4, 2026 at the Hartford Avenue approach in Daytona Beach; details to be determined.

The family welcomes comments and remembrances. 

https://www.news-journalonline.com/obituaries/psar1368055

When surfers die

Dedicated to my brother, Tommy Shay, 65, who died Christmas Day in Orlando from cancer complications.

Paddle out, man. Dig deep, feel the tide’s pull as you stroke against it. Surf is bitchin’ today. A storm heads through, leaves behind a five-foot swell that breaks clean in the offshore wind. You paddle with the swell, ocean feathers around you and something magnificent jumps in your chest as you glide with the wave. This moment will last forever. You kick free and head back to the breakers to find a circle of surfers in a becalmed sea. One holds an urn of ashes. In it are beach sunrises, great waves, friendships. The ashes drift with the sea. One last time, you paddle out to meet the sun.

Paddle Out for Tommy tentatively scheduled at Hartford Av approach in Daytona for April 4, with warmer seas and fair winds. 

On the beach – just us kids

I’m the only surfer in this high school annual photo. Me, in front, my board, an Oceanside 9-foot-6 Nose Rider, orange, easy to spot after wipeout (no leashes then). I lead John, Tim, Richard, Elizabeth balanced on top, trusting four high school boys not to drop her in the Daytona dunes. Bob (also an “S”) shoots the photo. Just a group of Esses on the winter beach. We are featured in the annual’s “S” page, headshots predictable, all in Catholic School uniform, hijinks saved for the beach pic. We tried to be the Beach Boys, us guys, hoisting surfer girl who wasn’t a surfer but smart, nice, defying gravity. She’s now in the Colorado mountains, I hear. Tim owns a bookstore in Philadelphia, not sure about John, I was Richard’s best man at his wedding, before I abandoned beaches for the Rocky Mountains. Richard is out in the Florida bush. Bob died during Covid. We were friends, roommates in a broken-down house in Gainesville. Bob the arborist, trimmed trees, grew homegrown. We were 17 or 18 on this day, 1968, class of ’69. The world boiled around us. We were on the beach. Just us kids.

In praise of Large Print books: "Seeing is Believing"

Wichita, 1962. I read Tom Swift and Hardy Boys books in bed with my Boy Scout flashlight. It was after the parents’ call for “lights out” and a brighter light might have awakened my brother who would want to talk about trains. He spent many hours with his model trains, vowing that one day he would pilot locomotives across the prairie. Instead, he learned the air traffic controller trade in the USAF and spent his career assisting pilots through the crowded skies.

I am about to turn 75 and I need more than a Boy Scout flashlight to read at night or any other time. Kindle, you might say, with its lit screen and adjustable type. Done and done. I love my Kindle. I’ve read some smashing books on it. Big ones, too. In 2022, I read “The Dark Forest” by Cixun Liu, the second book in the “Three-Body Problem” series. A long one at 528 pages. It was a slog sometimes, but the highs outnumbered the lows. Made me watch the first part of the Netflix series and make sense of it. Part Two coming up! 

I always miss holding an actual book. Something magical about sliding a book from a library shelf and opening it to that first page. The feel of it, the smell, the look. Lately I’ve been exploring the Large Print section at the Ormond Beach Public Library. It features lobby racks of new LP books in a section dedicated to donors. In the stacks, the library features aisle after aisle of LP books and CD books for the audible (and Audible) oriented. LP can stand for large print and also LP as in Long-Playing records. LP, record, or album – all terms we used for our 1970s purchases from Peaches. We played those Zeppelin disks long and often and appreciated their albums of songs which live in our bones. We annoyed our children by singing them badly and loudly on car trips. For them, LP might mean Loud Pops.

During my many decades at libraries, I paid little attention to the Large Print sections. They’ve grown as Americans age, especially our large cohort of Baby Boomers. Us. Me.

In the Ormond Beach Public Library’s “Miscellaneous Large Print” section, I saw a red trade paperback that outshone the others and plucked it out. It was “These Precious Days,” a collection of essays by Ann Patchett. I recently read (on Kindle) my first Patchett novel, “The Dutch House” and loved it. Beautiful writing, compelling characters, and a story I wasn’t sure about sometimes. But by the end, I was impressed with the tale of the Conroy family and their creaky old house outside Philadelphia. The writer made me pay attention to the characters as the story unwound and that takes skill. I will read more.

I just did. I checked out Patchett’s essays and read them. With an essay collection, the reader can pick and choose.  “A Talk to the Association of Graduate School Deans in the Humanities” was not my first choice. A bit dry, perhaps, nothing like “The Paris Tattoo” or “Eudora Welty: An Introduction,” Welty one of my favorite writers.

When I got to it, her talk to the humanities deans grabbed me. She wrote about her days as a grad student at the Iowa Writers Workshop. It was around the same time I went to the grad school MFA program at Colorado State University in the last half of the 1980s. There was a generational difference (she 22, me 37) and a gender one. But our experiences were similar in several ways. She had some great teachers and mentors but also some not-so-good ones. She scrambled to make ends meet and so did I. Her fellow students could be annoying but you put a bunch of creatives in cramped quarters and you get conflict. She sums it up: “My MFA showed me the importance of community.” That was my reason to do it and I did find community.

Patchett’s essays are marvelous, as marvelous as her novels (see my comments on “The Dutch House”). I was impressed by the cover art, a painting of the author’s dog Sparky by artist Sooki Raphael. The title essay is about Patchett’s friendship with the artist. It’s long, as essays go (88 pages), but it’s the heart of the book. Feel free to cry.

I was pleased to see that Patchett’s essay collection was issued by Harper Large Print, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers. Harper Large Print had a farewell message for me and other LP readers:

“Light and easy to read, Harper Large Print paperbacks are for the book lovers who want to see what they are reading without strain. For a full listing of titles and new releases to come, please visit our website: www.hc.com.”

This final thought in all caps: “SEEING IS BELIEVING!”

The Affordability Crisis Meets the Bitter Sweet Symphony

I was a Florida resident for just 18 days before I was rushed to the ER with septicemia. I am the family cook and grocery shopper. I barely had a chance to do either before my system shut down and I spent four weeks at AdventHealth Daytona. I did shop once at Publix in Ormond-by-the-Sea but mainly, during the turmoil of moving cross-country, we had a lot of food delivered. My wife fended for herself during my hospitalization with the help of family and friends. I awoke from a medically-induced coma after five days and was put on a restrictive diet due to the after-effects of sepsis and my chronic cardiac condition. My orders to the hospital cafeteria hotline were filled with “you can’t have that” and “no.” 

The food I did get was tasteless mainly because it was without taste and the meds I was taking robbed me of my taste buds. I know this because once I could order a hamburger, I did. “Your brother and I had them for lunch and they were tasty.” I tried it. Tasted like cardboard. I hadn’t eaten any cardboard in a long time but that was what the food tasted like had I sampled cardboard in the past. Only once did I cheat. My sister-in-law brought me dumplings from the favorite bistro and I got a shot of salt and Asian spices. Yum. But I was caught cheating and nurses read me the riot act.

I started dreaming about Publix. You know that TV ad where a beautiful young woman flies across the store on a grocery cart triggering the lights in the frozen food section while “Bitter Sweet Symphony” by The Verve swells? (you can see the long version on YouTube). I didn’t have that dream. My subconscious put me in my bed which was transformed into a car and I drove to every Publix in town which are legion. I told that dream to the morning’s first wave of med staff and they thought it was funny. A nurse looked up my diet. “I’d dream about Publix too if I had to eat hospital cardboard.” She didn’t say that part about cardboard but she appreciated my dreams.

After my October 4 release, I received daily in-home care for more than a month. Nurses tracked my ingoing and outgoing. PT helped me exercise. I ate simple meals , shopping done by my wife Chris. She can shop and cook. As for shopping, where I enter the store door, I hear a symphony playing. But Chris is assaulted by the sights and sounds I so enjoy. She has a solid case of ADHD and she limits herself to a few items and is out ASAP. Her cooking skills are limited due to nobody, not her mother or sister or teachers, had the patience to teach a left-handed hyper-kid how to put a meal together. I was the oldest of nine and often cooked for my siblings. I cooked when I was a college student and served food at various fast-food joints. Now I cook for my family. Chris, bless her, likes to clean. We’ve been married now for 43 years.

This brings me to the issue of affordability. Three weeks ago, I shopped at Publix with my adult son who is living with us. He has ADHD but it is a different strain from his mother’s. He is an amazing shopper. He can look at my handwritten grocery list, disappear into the aisles, and return with our heavier and bulkier items such as toilet paper, multi-packs of Kleenex, Diet Coke twelve-packs, kitty litter, laundry detergent. I will be puttering around the store in my e-scooter with a few BOGO items, a rotisserie chicken, a packet of deli chicken slices. “What else?” Kevin says.

This leads to a quandary. I don’t mind spending two hours in a grocery store. Kevin thinks a half-hour is way too long. This leads to a question: Should I have Chris drop me off and return when summoned later in the day? Or should I snag Kevin and go team-shopping?

Publix is like Disney World to me, a carnival of foodstuffs. I’m in those TV ads. At least I was until last month when the shopping bill went over five hundred dollars. That’s 10 days of food for three, sometimes four (daughter Annie drops in for an occasional meal). I have never spent that much on one grocery trip. There were many times in my life when I clipped coupons to afford the basics at Albertson's or Safeway for a family of four. I joined shoppers who clicked on their coupons and had the store computer ring up the savings. I would get to the receipt’s final line and boast, “I saved 75 dollars." "I saved 101 dollars.”

I save money at Publix with the BOGO items. Sometimes I get BOGO items just to get BOGO items which will add to the savings line.

Ormond Beach old-timers offer advice. Shop at Wal-Mart. Yes, I know, but it’s Wal-Mart and the Walton family supports Trump and right-wing kooks and yes, I know that one of the sisters has opened an incredible art museum. My sister Mo is a CostCo fan. She talks up the place all the time even though her three children have flown the nest and she shops for just two. She is the only person I know with a CostCo puzzle. She brought it to me in the hospital. It has a million pieces and I barely completed the CostCo hot-dog stand before I gave up. Mo and her husband Ralph took me for an initial foray into CostCo Daytona. The front-of-store display was a massive 100-inch television for an incredible price. I later saw a young man pushing one in a cart across the parking lot. I was entranced by the bakery section. They make their own bagels! Multi-packs of cookies still warm from the oven! Pies the size of 1955 Buick hubcaps (remember them?)! I signed up right away and got a 20 dollar discount on the joining fee. I could go out there right now and pay one dollar and 50 cents for a gourmet hot dog with all the fixins and a soda.

We conducted our Thanksgiving shopping at Wal-Mart. Yes, Wal-Mart. I brought Kevin with me as a defense mechanism to thwart the pre-holiday crowds and the sheer size of the place. It wasn’t glorious. I saw no pretty young women soaring on winged carts sailing through the frozen food aisle to “Bittersweet Symphony’s” opening violins. I did see a pair of youngsters shouting “Marco” while their mom yelled at them and then came the distant response of “Polo!” I asked Kevin if that was “a thing” and he replied “Sure.” We bought Great Value products (breakfast bars, pasta, ice cream) and spent a tad over four hundred dollars and I was tempted to remove enough items to go into 300-something but did not. The checker had already yelled “This register is closed” at the poor people behind me. I kept out my receipt as we made it out as that is demanded at Wal-Mart, checking the receipt against the items in your cart. Can’t be too careful during this “fake affordability” crisis.

Cue “Bitter Sweet Symphony,” the Publix ad not the original video which is kind of creepy. The song’s opening lines: “ ‘Cause it’s a bitter sweet symphony, this life/Trying to make ends meet/You’re a slave to money, then you die.”