Why are all of the dad-blamed Gov candidates from Cheyenne?

Article in yesterday's Casper Star-Trib lamented the fact that all three of the announced  Republican candidates for governor are from Laramie County: Incumbent Matt Mead, ticked-off sort-of Superintendent of Public Instruction Cindy Hill, and Tea Party fave Taylor Haynes.

I don't speak for my fellow Democrats when I say "We will keep Mead if you promise to take Hill and Haynes off of our hands." Most of them aren't too crazy about our current governor. He scuttled Medicaid Expansion and joined in on the failed multi-state lawsuit against the Affordable Care Act. But he is arts- and tech- and business-friendly, and seems to have a little more realistic view of the modern world than his fellow Repubs, especially those from the rural areas of the Cowboy State. At least two county Republican conventions (Platte and Hot Springs) recently censured the Gov over the Hill mess (SF 104) and the suspicion that he might be a RINO -- Republican in Name Only. Two other county Republican gatherings resorted to Tea Party mumbo-jumbo (Freedom! Constitution! Something!) but came up short of an outright censure. Interesting to note that our Dem county convention in March fielded a platform plank that would have called out Gov. Mead on the Hill fiasco. It was roundly defeated after a lively discussion. Most commenters thought that it was unwise to wade into this big Republican mess. Even though I seconded the motion, I ended up voting against it.

In today's CST article, Mead's office pointed out the Gov's rural roots in both Teton (richy-rich hangout) and Albany (liberal UW profs and enviros) counties. Haynes admitted that he was busy getting ready to a new ranch in Albany County. Hill couldn't be reached for comment, no doubt framing another spiteful missive to the Gov and his legal eagles who won't let her move back into her Superintendent offices in the Hathaway Building (the Constitution, ya'll!).

But interviewees in the article wondered why we can't have any gubernatorial candidates from some of our more rural counties. It's a good question. There's 98,000 square miles wherein candidates could dwell. Subtract Laramie County and you have left about 97,000. You could beat the sagebrush and find a few likely governors there. Or not. Still they wonder why their leaders come from The Big City and not from The Heartland.

I guess being a rural Wyoming Republican is a bit like being a Wyoming Democrat anywhere. Dems wonder why nobody ever listens to our progressive views. Here we are, sitting in our urban conclave, sipping lattes and plotting the downfall of Christendom, when a bunch of white guys stream into the Capitol Building from Meeteetse and Frannie and Ten Sleep and start ranting about herding gays into concentration camps and banning birth control and stopping the spread of Commie-inspired urban planning and banning the teaching of certain annoying scientific facts (global warming, evolution, earth orbiting the sun) and so on.

Why don't these people go back to their heavenly rural Nirvanas and leave us city people alone.

What does "Magic City of the Plains" really mean?

Can you be an urban guy in a rural state?

Sure. Urban centers exist even in the West's open spaces. Denver is the town that Colorado's eastern prairie loves to hate because, well, it's Denver where all of those liberals live -- and where the dreaded legislature convenes to pass laws to take away our guns, legalize gay marriage, force us to smoke pot, join the EPA's war on coal/gas/oil, and so on. The Western Slope hates Denver because it steals its water -- and they're right about that. Denver has been stealing water from the mountains even before Colorado became a state. That's true of the entire Front Range.

Cheyenne is the most urban of Wyoming's towns. In fact, it's only one of two metropolitan statistical areas (along with Casper) in the state. It's also where the legislature meets and engages in Cheyennigans (also the name of WyoFile's blog about the legislature). Cheyenne, the "Magic City of the Plains," was supposed to be Denver. Thing is, Denver became the home of hustlers and live wires and shysters and visionaries while Cheyenne became home to no-growthers. That wasn't always the case. Cheyenne was a flourishing rail and commercial center while Denver was still figuring out how to put on its boots.

From the Encyclopedia of the Great Plains:

Because of its rapid birth and ability to recover from periodic economic slumps, Cheyenne was called the "Magic City of the Plains." As the city matured during the territorial period (1869–90), it also developed a reputation as a social and cultural center. The city was notable for its opera house, the Atlas Theater, the Cheyenne Club, the Inter-Ocean Hotel, numerous retail businesses, and more than forty lavish mansions. The success and wealth of the city attracted western legends such as Wild Bill Hickok, Calamity Jane, Buffalo Bill Cody, Tom Horn, and Wyatt Earp, who rode shotgun on the Cheyenne–Black Hills stage.

Times marches on.

These days, according to Wikipedia: 

Cheyenne is the northern terminus of the extensive and fast-growing Front Range Urban Corridor that stretches from Cheyenne to Pueblo, Colorado, and has a population of 5,467,633 according to the 2010 United States Census.

Some of our rural Wyoming neighbors refer to Cheyenne disparagingly as "North Denver." They may be more accurate than they realize. All cities along the Front Range are actually Denver outliers. Denver International Airport could accurately be called Front Range International Airport except there's another airport with the "Front Range" moniker. All of the commuter flights from the Cheyenne airport feed into DIA. The same goes for Western Kansas and Nebraska, and all of Colorado. Most of us in Cheyenne prefer the two-hour interstate trip to DIA over the shorter "Vomit Comet" air trip to DIA. On good days, I can get to DIA in 90 minutes.

Many of us in Cheyenne get our arts and culture fixes in Denver. I'm one of a group of culture-hungry Dems who regularly get DCPA tickets to touring productions of "The Book of Mormon" and other Broadway shows. We usually have dinner downtown, go to the show, buy apres-show drinks and spend the night at one of Denver's many hotels. We know that rooms at the big hotels often go begging on weekends when convention and business travelers are at home.

Democrats aren't the only ones leaving the Cowboy State for a big-city night out. All of us -- Dems, Repubs, Indies and Libertarians -- taken together are a boon to Denver's economy. Denver pro sports teams have tons of followers in Cheyenne. I saw a number of FB status updates from Cheyennites yesterday from opening day at Coors Field. The Rockies even won, 12-2.

Cheyenne's membership in the Front Range bugs the Agenda 21 crowd. They don't want Cheyenne to look like other Front Range communities. You know, the prosperous ones such as Fort Collins and Loveland and Longmont and (God forbid) Boulder and Castle Rock. The list goes on and on. Cranky Tea Party types have flooded public commission meetings for PlanCheyenne to voice their displeasure that our county would consider such commie-inspired planning devices as bike paths, public art, parks, incentives for business and industry, efforts to grow the local entertainment scene, etc. Wyoming Tribune-Eagle Executive Editor Reed Eckhardt had an excellent staff editorial in this morning's paper decrying the bullying tactics of the "anti-planners" and the "anti-culture" crowd.

Problem is, Cheyenne was leading the Front Range before there was a Front Range. Just what do the [county] commissioners think the phrase "Magic City on the Plains" means? That people strutted around here in cowboy boots and hats and saluted each other with "howdy" for 10 days of the year?

In case you didn't know, that last reference is to Cheyenne Frontier Days, the big summer western bash in which all of us, even urban dudes such as myself, are asked to wear western gear and be friendly to tourists.

There's a reason that one out of every six Wyomingites live in Cheyenne. They have jobs. Jobs come from growth. New companies are formed and others move in for lots of reasons: tax structure, infrastructure, broadband access, climate, lifestyle. They don't move in because they heard that a lot of Know-Nothings crowded into planning meetings to shout about a United Nations plot to take away our gas-powered vehicles and make us all live in Hobbit homes. While that may be a quaint concept for 1914, it's not very attractive in 2014.

Growth comes, planned or unplanned. Which will it be, Wyoming?

Good company: Cheyenne, Billings and Loveland

Cheyenne is 15 years behind Billings.

It's playing catch-up with Loveland.

At least we're in good company.

On Wednesday evening, I attended a public meeting featuring staffers from Artspace in Minneapolis. Artspace describes itself as "America’s leader in artist-led community transformation."

At the meeting, Billings, Mont., was represented by Jack Nickels, the tall-drink-of-water cowboy who's point man on its city's nascent Artspace project. Loveland, Colo., was represented by Felicia Harmon. She's been working for more than three years on the Artspace project at the Loveland Feed and Grain building. It breaks ground Feb. 14, which is always a red-letter day in LOVE-land. This makes it the 36th Artspace project in the country, the first in Colorado, the first in the Rocky Mountain West.

Artspace's Wendy Holmes and Stacey Mickelson answered a call from Cheyenne to come on down. Issuing the call was a committee made up[ of reps from the Cheyenne DDA, Arts Cheyenne, LCCC, and a few others. Artspace held meetings with the mayor and city council, artists and arts groups and the general public. They toured three buildings with the potential for artistic live-work spaces: the Hynds, site of the "Lights On!" project, the former Z Furniture Building and the old power plant. They all hold promise as the site for live-work spaces for practicing artists, office space for arts orgs and retail space for arts businesses.

Everyone who spoke at the public meeting was very excited about the possibilities.

But hold your horses, said North Dakota native Mickelson who now works out of the Artspace D.C. office.

The Artspace staff visit is just the first step on a long trail. Artists and arts groups need to be surveyed. Local officials need to be brought on board.

"If elected officials and bureaucrats aren't interested, we can't do it," he said.

It was good sign that the mayor and six council members attended a meeting on Wednesday morning, Mickelson said. But luncheon meetings and agreeing to work together on a long-term project aren't the same thing.

The typical project takes around four years. The quickest turnaround was three years in Buffalo, N.Y. The longest was in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. -- 12 years. While the excitement level remains high in Billings, that project is on hold. The Artspace Billings Facebook page continues to grow and generate interest, according to Nickels. Some city administrators are holding up progress. The Billings downtown is home to a thriving arts scene, including the Alberta Bair Theatre, the Yellowstone Art Museum, the Writers Voice of the YMCA, an annual book festival and a new people-friendly, energy-efficient public library. Many of our northern Wyoming neighbors travel to arts events in Billings. Billings also featured in the new Alexander Payne film Nebraska (Wyoming, too, in one short scene). Get on over and like Artspace Billings on Facebook. Loveland Feed & Grain, too.

We're all in this together.

Sort of. Loveland's on its way. Billings is on hold and Cheyenne is just beginning. It's going to take a lot of people on the ground in Chey-town to make this project a reality. It will take some aye-sayers to get things down and to blunt the bleating of the nay-sayers. You know, the "Beware of Agenda 21" crowd. They'll be having their own meeting this week. Tea Party fave and Laramie County Commissioner M. Lee Hasenauer is hosting a town hall meeting at 3:30 p.m. on Saturday, Feb. 8, in the Cottonwood Room of the Laramie County Library. According to a flier promoting the event, the meeting will be held "to discuss the impacts of PlanCheyenne," the city and county's master plan. Hasenauer is leader of the local Tea Party, and last heard from celebrating in front of the Capitol when the Wyoming Supreme Court ruled in favor of Cindy Hill resuming her duties at the Department of Education. The Tea Party believes that every step in the name of progress is a commie plot. And you know about those commies. Russkis putting on Olympic games. Chinese buying up the Great Lakes. Viet Cong bringing their coffee to Wyoming.

What's next? Prairie hipster artists taking over Cheyenne''s old power plant and waking up downtown with a robust blend of art happenings and poetry slams and coffee shops and brewfests and all kinds of creative capitalist ventures?

You heard it here first.

If Tea Party Slim had a pair of spurs, he'd wear them to the farmer's market to rattle veggie-eating Liberals

Tea Party Slim and I sip coffee and talk about progress.

“I don't want to see Cheyenne get any bigger,” he says. “It will lose its Old West character.”

I sip my latte. “Old West character?”

He nods. “You know, Cheyenne Frontier Days, rodeo, country-western music, steaks as big as my cowboy hat, Old West shootouts, horses and cattle, boots and spurs.”

I look at Slim. He was wearing a plaid shirt and jeans. His UW ball cap rested on the table. On the way in, I saw that he wore sensible shoes. “Nobody's trying to take away your boots, Slim.”

He shakes his head. “All of these people moving into Laramie County,” he said. “They'll change the place. It will lose its conservative character.”

I thought about the recent election. Wyoming's lone Republican House member and one of its Republican senators were reelected by wide margins. Democrats lost one of their 14 legislative seats (out of 90). Tea Party types were elected to the county commission. The state gave Romney his second-biggest margin (after Utah) over President Obama. Meanwhile, our southern neighbor Colorado legalizes marijuana and goes even more blue and it's one of the battleground states that hands Obama the victory.

“So you expect an invasion of Colorado Liberals any day?” I ask.

“We have a new supercomputing center west of town and Microsoft is building a data center right next door. Microsoft is also building a test site east of town to see if biogas from our waste treatment plant can power computers.”

“What's wrong with that,” I say. “Isn't that economic development? Don't you want your kids and grandkids to find good jobs in Wyoming?”

“But we give these companies millions of dollars in financial incentives. Why do the taxpayers have to foot the bill? Microsoft owns the damn planet.”

“That's Google that owns the planet, and maybe Facebook.” I smile. I know that Slim is on Facebook a lot with his pet rants. I've been tempted to unfriend him but don't want to hurt his feelings.

“And downtown? Why does the city have to subsidize downtown development. Let the free market decide what businesses go downtown.”

“The free market turned downtown into a ghost town. It wasn't until the legislature provided funding and the city matched it that we were able to save the train depot and turn it into a gathering place and a museum and that wonderful outdoor plaza. I've seen you at the downtown farmer's market.”

“You can have a farmer's market anywhere. A Wal-Mart parking lot, for instance.”

“Why isn't it at the Wal-Mart parking lot?”

“Hell if I know.”

“Maybe Wal-Mart fears the competition? Maybe it doesn't like vegans and assorted Liberals wandering around its parking lot?”

“It's no competition to Wal-Mart. They're even building another Super Wal-Mart east of town. I love shopping at Wal-Mart because I know it irritates you Lefties.”

He had me there. “What would you do about downtown, Slim? How would you deal with all of those absentee landlords who are holding on to their properties so they can maximize their investment when commercial real estates improves.”

“I have no problem with that. People should be able to do what they want with their property. We don't need the U.N. coming in a taking away our God-given right to own a building or a piece of land.”

“Even when doing so damages the livability of your town?”

Slim puts down his coffee. “Livability. There you go with some of that U.N. Agenda 21 lingo.”

“I'm just talking about making my town a nice place to live. Isn't that what you want?”

“I want to live in a place where a man's home is his castle and he can protect it any way he wants. I don't need some urban city planners coming in spouting about social justice and environmental justice, telling me I can't burn wood in my fireplace or park my RV out on the street.”

I'd read an interview in our local paper with new county commissioners M. Lee Hasenauer and Buck Holmes. They are both fixated on Agenda 21 and urban planners spouting off about social justice. They want to keep Laramie County western, whatever that means. “You're against planning for the future?”

“I'm against big city experts coming in and doing the planning,” says Slim.

“You don't want any planning?”

“Let the free market decide.”

I drain the last of my coffee. “What would you do, Slim?”

He looks pensive as he stares into his cup. “Not a thing,” he finally says. “I like this place the way it is. Conservative. Gun rights protected. Governor fights the feds. I can park my RV where I want.”

Slim has a hulking RV. It blocks out the sun when he parks it in front of my house.

“Why would the U.N. Want to tell you where to park your RV?” I ask.

“That's what they want. They want to tell us where to live and what to drive and the width of our streets and what kind of energy we can use.”

“And they want to take away our boots and spurs. Do you have boots and spurs Slim? If I remember correctly, you grew up in suburbs somewhere in Ohio.”

He shifts in his chair. “That may be, but I'm a Wyomingite now. I don't need any spurs but I have five pairs of boots and I wear them.”

“When you go shopping at Wal-Mart?”

He levels his gaze at me. “I'll wear them any damn where I please.”

“Even to the downtown farmer's market?”

“Especially the downtown farmer's market. My cowboy hat, too, and my Wranglers, and my gun because I have a concealed carry permit. If I had spurs, I'd wear those too, so you pantywaist organic-farming Liberals would hear them jingle-jangle-jingle as I walked toward you.”

“They might quiver in their Birkenstocks, Slim. Then they'll sell you some organically-grown local produce and some home-baked bread and some grass-fed bison steaks and locally roasted coffee sweetened with unpasteurized goat's milk.”

Says Slim: “Those are some Old West traditions I can get behind.”

Rodger McDaniel outs Richard Wall's McCarthyism

In today's Wyoming Tribune-Eagle, and on his blog, Rev. Rodger McDaniel explores a case of home-grown McCarthyism.

Richard Wall, a well-known local Republican extremist, "outed" Democratic Party candidates in his Tuesday WTE column. This was his lame attempt to purge Wyoming, once and for all, of that annoying two-party system that is a hallmark of our democracy. True, we could use more than two serious political parties. But in Mr. Wall's universe, a one-size-fits-all, one-thought-process-for-all, is in tune with his reactionary political philosophy.

In keeping with transparency, Rodger also names those Democrats who are running in all local races, whether those are bipartisan or non-partisan race. He is as proud of them as I am. It's not easy being a Democrat in Wyoming. Only the bravest and most thoughtful follow that course.

Read Rodger's blog post at http://blowinginthewyomingwind.blogspot.com/2012/11/are-you-now-or-have-you-ever-beena.html

I also encourage you to buy and read today's WTE. Interesting and well-researched cover story on "Agenda 21," the United Nations' plan that allegedly will allegedly force us to live in "prescribed habitation zones" where we all will dwell in identical, government-built hobbit homes. We will be forced to abandon our cars and ride bicycles to work, unless Cheyenne builds a U.N-mandated monorail -- we'll commute on that instead. Sing it folks: Monorail!

I was surprised to find that WTE had posted the story on its low-tech web site. But it did. Reading the comments is half the fun (I've heard of "whackadoodles" but "whackaloons?"). Go to http://www.wyomingnews.com/articles/2012/11/04/news/01top_11-04-12.txt

Conspiracists gather in Casper Oct. 27 to hear author of "Behind the Green Mask: U.N. Agenda 21"

As I reported on these pages earlier, Tea Party Slim and his pals are in a
lather about Agenda 21, the United Nations' alleged plot to take over our neighborhoods and force us to live in solar-powered Hobbit homes. The following announcement comes from K2 News in Casper. Why is it always Casper? Must have something to do with the loony legacies of hometown Repub faves Dick and Lynne Cheney:

Cheri Steinmetz, former board member for the High Plains Initiative in
Goshen County says during her time on that board she observed
practices that left her uncomfortable and turned her into a strong
advocate for local control of land use decisions.
 
This weekend, the Parkway Plaza in Casper is the venue for an event
featuring the author of the book “Behind the Green Mask; U.N Agenda
21.″ Author Rosa Koire will talk about how smart growth and
sustainability have become blackened terms for those concerned with
property rights.
 
“Wyoming does need to hear what Rosa Koire has to say, because without
being aware of these things, they’re slipping in underneath the radar
and we don’t recognize them, because the words sound so benign and
innocuous.”
 
The event happens at 6:30 pm, Saturday, October 27th at the Parkway
Plaza. It’s free, but Steinmetz says reservations are recommended.
 
The Parkway Plaza Hotel and Convention Center, is located at 123 West
E Street in Casper (From I-25 take EXIT 188A)
 
Reserve your seats by contacting: Michelle Starkey: chellat919@aol.com
or Judy Jones: (307) 251-5527 or email fueltransport@mail.wyobeam.com

Better reserve a spot now. Tea Party Slim and his fellow travelers in Cheyenne

are planning a caravan to Casper on Saturday. 

Tea Party Slim sounds the alarm on Agenda 21

Tea Party Slim is hopping mad about Agenda 21.

"What is that?" I asked Slim as we sipped our coffee at the downtown Starbucks.

He shot me a look. "What rock have you been hiding under? It's been all over the blogs."

"Which blogs."

"Tea Party blogs, mostly."

"There's the problem," I said. "I don't read Tea Party blogs."

"You should. They bring enlightenment."

"So enlighten me." I sipped my double mocha caramel latte. "What's Agenda 21?"

Slim sipped his dark roast, took a deep breath and launched into his explanation. When Slim wrapped up his spiel thirty minutes later, I felt none the wiser.

"So the United Nations wants to take over our neighborhoods?"

Slim nodded. "Lock, stock and barrel."

"Why?"

"World domination, son. They won't rest until they have our homes, our pick-ups, our RVs, our guns, our women..."

"Our daughters too?"

"No, not yet, anyway."

"That's too bad," I said. "My wife and I would like to get the last kid out of the house. We need some peace and quiet. Do you think the U.N. could use a 19-year-old with orange spiky hair who plays bass in a band called The Ingrates?"

Slim stared at me.

"Do you?"

He shook his head. "You're not taking this seriously. The U.N. has designs on our property. And they want to tell us how to build our homes, how wide our streets should be, even what kind of energy we can use."

"They don't need a bass player? My daughter's really good, as far as I can tell."

"Do you want the U.N. to tell you how to live?"

"Not really, but..."

"Do you want the U.N. to take away your car and tell you to ride the bus? Or demand that Cheyenne build a monorail?"

"I wouldn't mind getting rid of my car. It has 120,000 miles on it. I need new tires. And my driver's side window is stuck. Did you know that I have to roll down the window and open it from the outside? It's a damn nuisance." I sipped my latte. "And I wouldn't mind a monorail whisking me downtown to work."

Slim's irritation was beginning to show. "You're not taking this threat seriously."

"You're right, Slim. I don't see much of a threat. I don't see how the U.N. would spend its valuable time fretting about my six-year-old Ford Fusion or the amount of natural gas I burn in my 25-year-old furnace or the width of my suburban street."

He shook his head slowly.

"We can't even get the city to pave our street," I said. "Do you think that the U.N. might want to take that on?"

"You're hopeless," he said. "We're having a meeting on this very subject. It's on Saturday, Oct. 20, 5-8 p.m., at the Old Community House in Lions Park. Tea Party patriots from around the country will be protesting against Agenda 21 that day. We all know how dangerous this 'smart growth' nonsense could become. Other true blue conservatives will at the Cheyenne meeting. M. Lee Hasenauer for one. He's running on a patriotic platform for county commissioner. Taylor Haynes will be the emcee -- he's that Libertarian rancher who ran for governor. And so will Brad Harrington, editor of Liberty's Torch."

"That's one heck of a line-up, Slim. And it sounds tempting. But I'm getting my spine straightened that day."

"Didn't know that you had one." He smiled.

"A spine? Yes, I have one. It's been bent out of shape by all the right-wing fooferaw I've heard around here lately."

"Better get used to it."

"Never. All I can say is, 'Don't Tread on Me.' My spine couldn't stand the strain."