Breastfeeding Scares and Alien Invasions Enliven Legislative Agenda

Lately I’ve been casting aspersions at the Wyoming State Legislature for an endless array of "stupid, stupid, bills." That’s how one ticked-off Democratic senator has referred to this session’s obsession with married gay people sneaking across the border, fetuses hooked on meth, fetuses targeted by shadowy gunmen, and deranged cults interfering with military funerals.

Lest I become a "nattering nabob of negativity," let’s consider some of the good things that have happened. The quality childcare bill is still alive. The Legislature has addressed meth abuse and sex offender registration with common-sense bills. The House has come up with a plan to fund Wyoming’s state’s roads and highways – our lifelines within, into, and out of the state. And the Division of State Parks and Historic Sites will (probably) get money to upgrade its facilities and roads.

I’m a bit biased towards the latter topic, as the division is the twin to Cultural Resources, where I work at the state arts council. Wyomingites use the state parks, as do increasing swarms of Front Range Coloradans and Wasatch Front Utahns crowded out of their own parks. While we welcome these outsiders (a.k.a. "tourists"), we also want to make sure that park facilities are not ground into dust. Thus the bills to upgrade and repair.

My sister, a lactation specialist in Florida, will be glad to hear that the House has decreed that breastfeeding in public will no longer be considered "public indecency." The bill started off tougher, making "the act of interfering with a mother in the act of breastfeeding a misdemeanor crime that could result to up to six months in jail." After it was revised to its present form, Dan Zwonitzer, a community-minded Republican from Laramie County, wanted to attach the term "discreetly" to "breastfeeding." Said Zwonitzer: "In my business, I’m exposed to breastfeeding on sort of a regular basis." Just what business is Zwonitzer in? He operates an auction house. I was shocked to hear that lactating mothers were swarming auction houses, baring engorged breasts while fervently bidding on cuckoo clocks and chifforobes. Have they no sense of decency? No wonder Zwonitzer is concerned.

Breastfeeding mothers in Tallahassee took a unique approach to the issue. Irritated that public breastfeeding was still a crime in Florida, they and their babes took to the State House for a sit-in that featured blatant breastfeeding. Male lawmakers were so shocked by the sight, they changed the law. Happy to say that my sister was one of the event’s organizers. She is quite fervent on the issue. We could use her in Cheyenne.

More positive moves -- a bill passed the Senate on Tuesday that would provide free colorectal cancer screenings for some 2,000 low-income residents. The bill to get rid of the sales tax on groceries is still alive, although no agreement has yet been reached on how to reimburse communities for the lost revenue.

The Senate Travel, Recreation, and Wildlife Committee passed a bill Tuesday to give incentives to movie studios to shoot their films in WYO. Lately, state residents have been upset that Wyoming-themed movies have been in Canada, of all places. That includes "Brokeback Mountain," "An Unfinished Life," and "Flicka." The oddest twist to this issue is that "Brokeback Mountain," with its gay love story, sparked an uptick in tourism last summer. The gorgeous vistas in Ang Lee’s film prompted tourists of all persuasions to come to Wyoming to see sights that actually existed in Alberta and British Columbia. These same tourists would have more success seeing sights shown in the sci-fi film "Starship Troopers." Hell’s Half-Acre, an otherworldly landscape located between Casper and Waltman, was the setting for battle scenes on the film’s "Bug Planet." American troopers were torn asunder by rampaging aliens and aliens got disintegrated by trooper blasters. Just as it appeared that the bug insurgents would win the war...well, I don’t want to ruin the ending for you. Get the movie at Blockbuster – it’s better than it sounds.

The three recent films noted above were based on work by Wyoming authors. "Brokeback Mountain" comes from a short story of the same name by Centennial’s Annie Proulx which first appeared in The New Yorker and later was in her first book of stories, "Close Range." Annie recently moved, changing her address and contact info after harassment by anti-Brokeback fundamentalists. "An Unfinished Life" is a novel by Mark Spragg of Cody. "Flicka," of course, comes from the classic Mary O’Hara novel "My Friend Flicka."

I hope the full Senate passes the film incentive bill. It appears that "Boone’s Lick," from the Larry McMurtry novel, could be the first one to benefit from the bill. Tom Hanks’ production company, Playtone, is in charge of the project. McMurty isn’t from WYO, but he certainly has a following here after "Lonesome Dove." He and Diana Osana also teamed up with Annie Proulx on the Oscar-winning "Brokeback Mountain" screenplay.

My boss at SPCR, Milward Simpson, testified for the bill in front of the committee. "Wyoming is known as a hotbed of great writers," he said. "These people are going to continue to write stories about Wyoming that will be produced. It would be such a tragedy if these films set in Wyoming (continue to be) filmed elsewhere."

You got that right, boss. Who knows, one of those stories might be mine.