The Aptly-Named Black Friday

I worked on Black Friday, so opportunities were minimal to stand in line at 4 a.m. at Circuit City. I can’t imagine I would have ventured out before dawn even if I wasn’t working – especially if I wasn’t working. The time just before dawn is a great time for dreams but a lousy time for shopping.

Why do people get so charged up to face the Black Friday crowds? Are they primed by visions of incredible bargains? Have the television commercials leading up to the day after Thanksgiving driven them slightly mad? I just had an ugly thought – did all the negative election campaign ads soften up their brains, making them more susceptible to come-ons for I-pods and toasters? This is a conspiracy theory tailor-made for the web.

I go out of my way not to spend money on Black Friday. I agree with Adbusters and its "Buy Nothing Day," a time to take a break from rampant consumerism. I did spend twenty bucks at the grocery store because I needed turkey-sandwich fixings at home. A 20-pound turkey emerged partially intact from Thanksgiving and 10 hungry souls. I needed bread, real mayo, lettuce, tomatoes, and a few other items. I am old-fashioned enough to believe that Thanksgiving was created for apres-feast turkey sandwiches and homemade turkey soup. And football, even when the Denver Broncos slump on national TV. But not shopping. Definitely not shopping.

I’m not a bah-humbug type of guy. I do shop for Christmas and sometimes enjoy it. I still remember one December when my kids were young. My wife Chris and I hired a babysitter and spent a couple hours at Toys ‘R’ Us. We ogled the new toys, tried out the electronics, and played a couple bruising rounds of foosball. We bundled the presents into the trunk and brought them in later to hide. This was before the kids grew in size and cunning and I had to hide the presents at remote sites, such as my workplace.

Meanwhile, I shall strive to avoid Christmas shopping during – and right after – Thanksgiving. I vow to avoid Black Friday like the plague.