Sunday, December 06, 2009

"When Liberals Invade Wyoming" -- a fantasy

I've been falling behind in my prowling for Wyoming-related posts on prog-blogs. I missed this one by MinistryOfTruth Nov. 19 on Daily Kos:

Let me sum up. MOT writes tongue-in-cheek that a bunch of liberals "invade" Wyoming so it can be turned blue. In theory, a fine idea. In practice, it's doomed to failure. One only need look at the post's comments to undertand why. Most people don't have a clue about Wyoming.

By invade I mean a peaceful move to resettle liberal Americans to a small town in Wyoming where we can all live in liberal harmony our way. We will take over the local town Government, and then swell our numbers from other people who shall all make an exodus from the other 49 states as we carry out our new endeavor. Therefore, for the sake of unemployed Americans and every other struggling person, I say pick up, travel west, and take Wyoming back from the Dick Cheney types that own it.

By take back, I mean the peaceful and awesome transformation of a stodgy old state full of rocks and rockheads (at lest 50%, but not all Wyomingians are Fox Viewers) into a kick ass liberal paradise with open skies, clean air and 2 Senator seats just waiting for us. Why should we go jobless in New York, Michigan, Ohio, California and elsewhere while Wyoming hogs up all the opportunity and hopes and dreams that any large, low populated state might have if an inordinate number of millionaires live there.

So who will come with me, and found a new city within a city in Wyoming? Who will join the commune of liberals who will turn Wyoming Blue?

Don't everybody raise your hand at once. Sure, it's bone-chilling cold right now, but that only lasts until Memorial Day. And don't be afraid of Dick Cheney. He's hardly ever here, spending most of his time in Maryland when he's not on Fox News calling Obama a weinie. When he is in Wyoming, he's holed up in his mountain redoubt outside Jackson. He rarely goes into town, afraid some vegan boarder with a 'tude will hit him with a snowball.

Where would liberals work? My liberal friends and I who pioneered this state back in the 1990s already have all the good jobs. We are arts workers, artists, artisans, baristas, writers, bread makers, professional locavores and teachers and -- of course -- community organizers. There currently are enough of us for Wyoming. We are short of communities, you see, and any new influx of community organizers would have to organize prairie dog colonies, antelope herds and -- if they're not all shot soon -- wolf packs. From experience, I'd have to say that it might be easier to organize wolf packs than the state's human colonies.

And did I mention that every single housebroken life form in Wyoming -- men, women, children, infants, hamsters, cats, dogs -- packs heat. There are more guns in Wyoming than tumbleweeds.

I'll let MOT have the final words:

I believe that this program is a way forward into the future, so that liberals, progressives and Dirty Fucking Hippies can slowly ruin all the red states for the red staters the way they fucked up our states with their corrupt, incompetant idiots like the Bush, Cheney and Palin families. So who is coming with me, and what shall we name this Hippy Liberal Paradise, and what kind of laws will we have? I want to know.

And I want to see the look on that Dick Cheney's face when we take over, peacefully and Democratically.

1 comment:

wyo granny said...