Thursday, January 01, 2009

When the end comes, what will we do with the Texas Republic?

Andrew Osborn writes in the Wall Street Journal about the imminent break-up of the U.S. -- as envisioned by a Russian prognosticator.

For a decade, Russian academic Igor Panarin has been predicting the U.S. will fall apart in 2010. For most of that time, he admits, few took his argument -- that an economic and moral collapse will trigger a civil war and the eventual breakup of the U.S. -- very seriously.

A polite and cheerful man with a buzz cut, Mr. Panarin insists he does not dislike Americans. But he warns that the outlook for them is dire.

"There's a 55-45% chance right now that disintegration will occur," he says. "One could rejoice in that process," he adds, poker-faced. "But if we're talking reasonably, it's not the best scenario -- for Russia." Though Russia would become more powerful on the global stage, he says, its economy would suffer because it currently depends heavily on the dollar and on trade with the U.S.

Mr. Panarin posits, in brief, that mass immigration, economic decline, and moral degradation will trigger a civil war next fall and the collapse of the dollar. Around the end of June 2010, or early July, he says, the U.S. will break into six pieces -- with Alaska reverting to Russian control....

Mr. Panarin's apocalyptic vision "reflects a very pronounced degree of anti-Americanism in Russia today," says Vladimir Pozner, a prominent TV journalist in Russia. "It's much stronger than it was in the Soviet Union."

The WSJ has provided an excellent graphic (shown above) with its Dec. 29 story. When I saw it, I realized that Igor (is that ee-gore or eye-gore?) Panarin has never spent time in the U.S. If he'd been to the South, he would know that you could never split the Dixie states of Georgia, Alabama, Arkansas, Louisiana and Mississippi from Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia and North and South Carolina. If one of them is to secede or break it off from the U.S., so will the rest of them. Besides, Southerners wouldn't countenance joining the EU, with includes those cheese-eating surrender monkeys, the French.

Virginia is a question mark. I would say that the northern part of the state, the section that has been infiltrated by D.C. Democrats, would go with the Atlantic America states, leaving the rest of the state to team up with Dixie. The South shall rise again! And why not? They have all the military bases. Lots of firepower in rural Georgia and Alabama.

But what about Texas? That's the question Americans have been asking for decades. It's laughable to think that Texas would want Oklahoma, especially after the recent BCS decision that put OU in the national championship game over The Horns. Texans would be more likely to blow the Okies to shit. If they didn't, the Okies would go with the Central North-American Republic and its Canadian pals. What's even more laughable is that the Texans would be under the influence of Mexico. Igor has never heard of the Alamo. He also doesn't realize that Mexico, obviously on the upswing after the 2010 dissolution of El Norte, will not want all of those Texans swarming across the Rio Grande to take Mexican jobs. I predict that Mexico will build a really big electrified fence to keep out the Gringos.

New Mexico? So many segments to the "Land of Enchantment." First, Santa Fe. Then the eastern plains. Albuquerque, where I was a zygote and later a fetus. The pueblos and their casinos. Roswell. All things considered, I think New Mexico will be better suited hooked up with the California Republic. More in common with Arizona and Nevada than Texas.

Colorado, too. More mountains that prairies, more city and frou-frou resort that Wichita. Add another one to California. This is getting to be a rather large Republic, maybe too large for the Chinese to handle.

So take away Utah and Idaho. Connect them with Wyoming and Montana, and you have the Intermountain Republic, or maybe the Republican Republic. There is some precedence for this. Remember Philip K. Dick's "The Man in the High Castle," wherein the Axis powers were victorious in WWII and the Japanese occupied the West Coast and the Nazis had the East Coast? In the book, The Man in the High Castle imagined a different reality out in Wyoming. If the U.S. broke up, this mountainous republic would be as difficult to subdue as Afghanistan -- and better armed. Wyoming and Montana also have nukes, which gives us an advantage against the Chinese, Canadians, Mexicans and even the EU. We'd have a worthy adversary in North Dakota. Maybe we can talk the Dakotas into joining us -- forget about those Canucks! They'll force you to enjoy socialized medicine!

Mr. Igor Panarin needs to do his homework before he goes around talking about the end of the U.S.A. as we know it. Next thing you know, he'll be predicting a black president for the U.S. Silly man.

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