Monday, March 17, 2008

"On the Streets of Baghdad:" Deadeye Dick and the Arizona Kid

When in doubt about foreign policy, send in the western gunslingers.

"Deadeye" Dick Cheney and John "Arizona Kid" McCain are in Iraq today in a showdown with the Al-Qaida Gang.

But they won’t be moseying into the Green Zone without backup. The Arizona Kid brought along sidekicks Joe "Red Belly" Lieberman and Lindsey "Carolina Slim" Graham. Al-Qaida doesn’t stand a chance.

As the Arizona Kid told the AP:

"We recognize that al-Qaida is on the run, but they are not defeated," McCain said after meeting Iraq Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki. "Al-Qaida continues to pose a great threat to the security and very existence of Iraq as a democracy. So we know there's still a lot more of work to be done."

To show how dangerous life is on the Streets of Baghdad, explosions went off near the Green Zone shortly after Deadeye Dick arrived. The U.S. Army called out the Air Cav which choppered to the rescue but couldn’t find anything to shoot at. That’s the thing about this crazy war. No "High Noon" style showdowns. No guys in black hats daring you to "Draw!" Just ghosts and shadows.

Both Deadeye Dick and the Arizona Kid vowed a long-term military presence in Iraq. The Arizona Kid has previously vowed to stay in Iraq 100 years, which will take us to 2103. By then, McCain will be a very old gunslinger indeed.

The Arizona Kid is running for the U.S.A.’s "Top Gun" and, at home, is facing down Barack "Chicago" Obama and Hillary "Boot Hill" Clinton. The two Dems have been sharpening their skills with showdowns in states such as Mississippi and Wyoming. Six other Dems have been gunned down in the process. Their next big battle will be on the streets of Philadelphia. The Arizona Kid recently eliminated his final Repub challengers when he outgunned Mike "Bible Thumper" Huckabee and Mitt "Avenging Angel" Romney during street fights in Ohio and Texas.

Meanwhile, the Al-Qaida Gang continues its cowardly ways by blowing people up, including mounted U.S. troopers. Thus far, almost 4,000 have been killed and more than 20,000 wounded.

Up to a million Iraqis have died. "That’s some good shootin’," said Deadeye Dick, who should know.

1 comment:

mpage225 said...

Yeah, things are going so great there that they have to come in unannounced under heavy security, as opposed to the visit by the representative of the Axis of Evil:

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad visits Iraq-

"Unlike Bush's trips to Iraq, Ahmadinejad announced his journey in advance, drove in a motorcade down Baghdad's airport road — once known as "The Highway of Death" — spent the night and even traveled to a Shiite holy shrine in northern Baghdad, albeit under the cover of night."

Thank goodness we have made Iraq safe for Ahmadinejad. Mission Accomplished.