Tag-Team Death Match: Biofuels vs. Petrol

Me and Pres. Bush and our corn squeezin's can beat any ten of you fossil-fuel guzzling oil-addicted Americans.

Let me rephrase that. Me and Pres. Bush with our corn squeezin's and Brazilian Pres. Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva (Lula to his pals) with his cane squeezin's can beat any number of you petrol-wastin' road hogs.

That includes Venezuela's Hugo Chavez, the biggest fossil-fuel hog on the downhill side of the equator. This large man from down south had the gall to call Pres. Bush "that little gentleman from the north." Our leader may have a brain the size of a walnut, but his physical presence is almost as imposing as another great American colossus: Theodore Roosevelt. Teddy brooked no nonsense from energy-rich tinhorn dictators and neither will Bush. Just look what happened to Saddam.

When it comes to fueling my ride, I take my cue from Lula and Dubya. You should too.